People at work are beginning to ask about the white ribbon on my backpack. Good.....very good. Turns out I may not be as "out" as I thought. Or people at work just haven't figured out I'm gay. I was having a discussion with a couple of co-workers and they were both shocked when I told them about myself. Shocked me to shit.

Anyway, I've gotten another little tidbit on the homophobes who will be preached their hatred to the masses during the RNC this week. Another speaker that is scheduled to talk is Sheri Dow, a woman who has compared gays to Hitler. Really? I'm Hitler.

As a grandchild of WWII, it's obvious this bitch has no clue what she's talking about, but, I'll let her give her side first;

This escalating situation reminds me of a statement of a World War II journalist by the name of Dorothy Thompson who wrote for the Saturday Evening Post in Europe during the pre-World War II years when Hitler was building up his armies and starting to take ground. In an address she delivered in Toronto in 1941 she said this: "Before this epic is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up with Hitler or against him. Every living human being either will have opposed this onslaught or supported it, for if he tries to make no choice that in itself will be a choice. If he takes no side, he is on Hitler's side. If he does not act, that is an act­ for Hitler?"

This is the spin she put on it, word for word;

May I take the liberty of reading this statement again and changing just a few words, applying it to what I fear we face today? Before this era is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up in support of the family or against it. Every living human being will have either opposed the onslaught against the family or supported it, for if he tries to make no choice that in itself will be a choice. If we do not act in behalf of the family, that is itself an act of opposition to the family? At first it may seem a bit extreme to imply a comparison between the atrocities of Hitler and what is happening in terms of contemporary threats against the family­ but maybe not....

Yeah, bitch, it is a little extreme. Considering the fact that many Germans did not believe in what Hitler was preaching, they went along under fear of torture or death, one of whom was my grandmother on my mom's side of the family. I would not be sitting here typing this if it were not for the sheer will to live that my Oma (grandma's pet name) had to live. You obviously have never been touched by the atrocity of this horrible event of our time, since you speak about it lightly and disrespectfully. You, with an ease than oozes with the putrid stench of hate, switch words that clearly have no meaning or weight for you.

Gays are not going around killing Jews because they are Jewish; we are not going around killing other gays because they are gay; we are not going around and killing those who support the freedom of all humans, we are not starting wars of hatred and genocide.

That is what Hitler did. That is what Hitler was. That is what Hitler stood for.

These are the things that all of those who hate, like yourself, Sheri Dow, that cause the breakdown of decency and respect in societies, not people who are acting for their rights. People who want to be able to marry and start families are not the people who start wars; people like you who treat such atrocities with a blatant disregard for their true affect on the human soul are the ones who start wars.

Hitler blew off the lives of millions of Jews, thinking that killing them would cleanse the Earth of all evil and inequality. It's obvious by your statement and comparison that you think the same of gays.

People like yourself who line up against other people who want to build homes and families for themselves are the people who have taken the stand against family. Hate and bigotry are not the stuff that families and homes are made of, but, are the things that fuel your hatred and willful, conscious ignorance of any "lifestyle" other than your own.

Just remember, you're supporting a party that blames women for all the "faults" of our society, including you.

Sleep on that, o mighty bigot. Sleep on that.

So, I've looked at Jimmy John's (great subs), but, they were only looking for morning people. I then went to the Gap/Old Navy for an application. I used to work for the Gap when Gap Warehouse was in existence; Gap Warehouse was what Old Navy is today. Actually, the whole company is like Old Navy really; all of their clothes are made in Central America now. Why would someone buy Gap when they can get the same quality at Old Navy prices?

Anyway, I'll be turning in my app tomorrow after work. No biggie; I hope to score a job at Old Navy; it's an easy uniform, dark jeans and corny ass black/navy blue top with Old Navy logo on it.

So, anyway, I'm sitting here typing this and I'm finding the headline something along the lines of Gay rights GOP members are having a hard time deciding whether to endorse Bush or not.

Hey. here's your answer dumbasses, DON'T!

How hard can that decision be? You as a human being should not be forced to endorse and support a candidate who is going against what you stand for. It's not that hard; DON'T is the word here, people. 4 letters, one meaning.

The news is filtering down as to what the real Republican agenda is. It's simple to break down. It stands for and endorses three things;

Anti-Gay

Anti-Women

Anti-American

Don't make it any harder than it needs to be. This is the party that believes that gays deserve no rights, has arranged for speakers who believe that gays should be imprisoned for their "behavior", and has the most conservative agenda ever presented in our history.

It's anti-women because this party endorses and works with the Catholic Church extensively, the same church that recently released a doctrine that single handedly blames women and the women's rights' movement for the disintegration of the family unit "as we know it". This doctrine also "blames" the feminist movement for the ever increasing acceptance of gays and lesbians. The platform of this party was recently changed to simply be anti-abortion as a device of reproductive control. The original platform was taking the radical stance of stating that abortions should never happen in any instance, including instances of rape and incest. In their view, invitro fertilization should never happen, even for women who can conceive, but not carry children. Wow, why don't you just come out with bats and sticks and beat the shit out of us women all together since we suck so much. We should be eradicated from the earth.

Anti-American because this party not only believes that the Patriot Act should be kept in place permanently, but, that the MATRIX should be used to replace it if there are no real objections to this system being used. Simply put, the MATRIX would allow big business, doctors, health insurance companies and the government access to your every move including health check-ups, credit card transactions, even who you are dating, when and where. Anti-American because the Bush regime would continue "Free Speech" zones, which are nothing short of a mockery of free speech. For those of you that don't know, free speech zones are placed anywhere from 2 or 4 miles away from the President so that he doesn't see them. Even these "zones" have been abused by officers of the law. Especially in small towns, these police officers would arrest individuals who bore signs that they did not like, wrongfully imprison people exercising their rights, and even encourage crowd members to produce "incriminating evidence" to keep this individuals in jail for as long as the officers felt like illegally retaining them.

It's a regime, people, not a presidency. A real leader accepts criticism, they do not hide away from it. A real president understands that the law that they have sworn to uphold applies to everyone, not just those whose lifestyle or skin color is similar to their own.

And, for those of you who think that gay marriage isn't your problem, let Bush back into office and it will be. There are many members of the far right of this party that want to push through legislation that not only guarantees that gays will never be able to marry, but, that will force hetero couples into marriage. This legislation will be written to exclude not only gays from such things as insurance rights and death/health benefits and executor rights, but, will insure that unmarried hetero couples will be stripped of these rights as well. The far right members are the ones calling the shots in this party. They do want control; they want total unchallenged control over every American's life.

Including yours.

If you love women, especially your mothers, daughters, sisters and aunts, you cannot consciously vote Republican. This conservative agenda should make anyone wretch with disgust.

So, with this tropical storm hitting the S.C. coast, I'd like to see what good ol' George does. Will he stay in NYC to accept the lauding of his party and to collect the treasure of financial gold for his campaign for re-election, or, does he do what a real leader should and go to comfort his fellow Americans and survey the damage? Eh, he's a republican, he's gonna go for the money!

Oh, and, if you just happen to be visiting during this lovely week, ask good ol' George a question for me; ask him where are the funds that he promised to NYC after 9/11, you know, the money he said that he was going to give to help NYC be more prepared for terrorist attacks and chemical & biological warfare.

Ask him. I'd love to see if he has an answer.

I've created a new blog for my religious-based rants instead of posting them on here. I know that they are long and very winded, but, I feel that I need to vent on those issues, but, not here; this blog is Latin Lite/political Latin. Religious Latin can be found here.

Nothing new on the hom front other than I haven't spoken/chatted with D in several days. Can you blame me? I wouldn't know what the fuck to say. If you have any ideas, please feel free to drop them in the commnets area. (see yesterday's post).

I've spent the entire day between driving, making a flyer to get rid of shit that I don't use or is too big, updating my resume and references, ironing my outfit to go part-time job hunting tomorrow (after work), and doing four loads of laundry, I'm pooped. Thank God my mom let me buy some frozen food last night, otherwise I would have eaten bananas all day. That's not good.

Had my session with my therapist today. She is pleased that I'm no longer on the "hunt" for pussy, but, looking to find friends and myself along the way. Usually when I'm in this mode is when love comes to bitch-slap me with a 2x4. This time I'll have to say "no". I can barely support myself, let alone trying to take someone else out for dinner and a movie. It's not gonna happen.

My fav new song is "Let Go" by Frou Frou; it's the dreamy sounding track they play during the "Garden State" promos. The whole CD is actually really good; I would recommend buying it.
I'll be saving my dough for the Passion of the Christ DVD coming out this Tuesday. I, like many of my coworkers, never saw it, but heard it was so good we have to have it. My mom saw it and says it was a great movie, with the exception of the flagellation scene; she said it was exceptionally gory. I dare say it was probably accurate.

Fun stuff.

You ever notice in life how it sometimes gathers up all the shit, makes it into this huge fucking snowball and throws it at you.
I was some of the shit in somebody else's snowball this week.
Fuck.

Again, apologies for the long posts, but, I just had to get that shit off of my chest.

Well, I missed the final weekly meeting for EMN on Monday, due to the fact that I had my period over the weekend, and, I did not give myself a day of rest. I was in the city on Friday, out late on Saturday, and, up early again on Sunday to get into the city. I spread myself thin. If I don't chill out at least one day during it, I turn into a bitch, snapping at everyone.

But, I found something out on Saturday night that was very interesting. Actually, two things, but, one I will not write here because I'm not sure if there is a certain someone who reads this or not. This would be the same person who thinks that D and I are lovers.

The other thing is very interesting. This involves my ex in a round-about way.

Have you ever met your gf or bf's exes? It's pretty unusual. I found out that my ex was involved with a leather top. How she went from a leather top to a vanilla woman like me I will never understand. I found out when I was headed over to Temps with D to meet a woman that she had just met and liked. Turns out that woman was my now ex's ex. The leather top.
D began describing to me what was in said top's bedroom, coupled with the details I got from my ex, I did the math.

edited on 08/26/04. Apparently, somebody's reading this thing who I don't know.

And, just in case you you thought I'd escape it for the night, here's the political point, once again.
Here's the email;

The owner(s) of SIDETRACK contacted the group REQUESTING US TO SELL OUR WHITE RIBBONS IN THEIR COURTYARD .This is Labor Day weekend and we have been assured that they get PACKED the day before. Again, not only can we raise money but we can raiser AWARENESS about the necessity of action to secure marriage equality NOW!

So, the owner of Sidetracks contacted us about our white ribbon campaign, and, wants us to do something in their courtyard. For anybody who's been to or seen their courtyard, it ain't much of a courtyard. Houses in Mexico City have bigger courtyards than this.

But, this rant is not about the size of their courtyard, but, their intention.

When you think about it, married couples do not spend as much money on such things as "going out" because they are focused on bigger things, such as a home and kids. Their biggest expenditure is usually diapers, delivery, or doctors bills. No where do you see, movies, bar tabs, or dinners out. If they happen, it's not very often, especially with kids, which results in babysitter bills.
This would be contradictory to the prevalent gay lifestyle. Bars on the weekends or at nights, dinners out, parties at friend's houses, additional cost in wardrobe upkeep to look good at said parties and bars, and the like. Yes, even lesbos spend money on their wardrobe; it's hard work and good money maintaining that trailer-trash look. Those 2x and 3x clothes cost more you know.

So, if gays were allowed to get married, wouldn't that hurt this market? I understand that there will always be people who will never get married; it's their nature. But, wouldn't just the ability to do so create a tidal wave of personal responsibility and accountability? With this new focus, wouldn't it take away from the very culture that bars such as SideTracks promotes and encourages?

It's not right. It doesn't feel right or look right. A bar that just a month ago held a money-making fiasco for Kerry is all of a sudden supporting something that Kerry is publicly against. Not right, not right at all. But, Glenn is trusting and sent out the email, so, I'll tag along. I don't know what it is, but, something about gay male energy gets me going and motivated. I feel weird in lesbo energy. I'll explain later.

This post and the post from 8/22 have been moved to my new blog. It is my blog dedicated exclusively to the lies that religious leaders tell to others because they are too cowardly to try to understand someone else's lifestyle.

Please see 8/23 note on this post.

Okay, so, I wandered over to the Chicago Bloggers list, and, for some reason, Thursday I was in 2nd, yesterday I was M.I.A. on the list, and, today I am 98th. Uh, yeah, so.....

Well, EMN was and is having a white ribbon drive this weekend. We were across the street in front of Joy's Noodles on Broadway. There were five of us. When a couple more people came, we split up into two groups; I stayed on Broadway with three people, and, the rest travelled to "Gay Central", aka Halsted.

It was a great night, and, with the exception of one bigot and a couple of gays who didn't care, our white ribbon campaign went really well. We'll be doing it all weekend, Sunday near the Methodist Church.

What is the white ribbon? Well, in New York state, Mayor Jason West, despite law that prohibits it, is handing out marriage licenses to gay couples. He was wearing a white ribbon in the shape of the AIDS ribbon. Glenn recently travelled to N.Y. for the Democratic Convention (to protest Kerry's stance on gay marriage) and saw the ribbon. Well, that gave him the idea to start that here. So, we did.

It was funny, though. Some people thought that by giving to the HRC or to Equality Illinois, they would be helping out with this fight. Uh, wrong. I was talking with this old man that had given us some money for a ribbon, and, he had a really good point. He said that today's youth have no idea what is going on, and, they just don't give a shit. Which is why people give to the HRC and to Equality Illinois without thinking.

It was funny reading the nominations for the "Pressies" this year. My two favorite categories; Best Local GLBT group and Best Local GLBT activist.

The nominees are;

Best Local GLBT Group

Equality Illinois

Queer to the Left

Best Local GLBT Activist

Rick Garcia

Deb Mell

Don't even get me started on Equality Illinois. People, the organization is nothing more than pomp and circumstance, having endorsed Kerry for President, and, whose leader, Rick Garcia, is nothing more than a cock-stroker and a budding politician himself.

Actually, I will go on about both, thank you.

Equality Illinois.

What is it? It's a PAC.

What's a PAC? A huge waste of money. I know because I used to work for one during a summer back in college. Let me explain.

A PAC is an organization, tax deductable usually, that goes around begging people for money, and, then takes that money and wastes it in several ways; number one being throwing big bashes for politicians that usually end up renigging on gay rights promises (i.e., Bill Clinton), and, number two, which pisses me off even more, is lobbying.

Organizations (PACs) like Equality Illnois go to politicians and say something along the lines of;

"Our organization will give you $X amount of money as long as you promise to represent our interests during your sessions in the legislature."

then the politicians say;

"Sure dumbass, give your money, and I'll pretend to defend your interests until somebody else comes along (who is probably against your cause) and gives me more money."

Are you beginning to see the folly behind this? I sure hope so. PACs are usually out-donated by a 20 to 1 ratio.

And, the ever lovely Rick Garcia. The things I have heard about him are not good to say the least, and, that's putting it mildly. I don't even want to know how long Equality IL has been in place, but, the sad fact about all of their pomp and circumstance is this; for the past 30 years, there has been some form of anti-discriminatory GLBT legislation in the Illnois Congress. IT STILL HAS NOT PASSED, despite the over decade long hand-greasing, ass-kissing and political wheeling, dealing, primping and posturing Mr. Garcia has done. (I will give credit where it's due, Equality IL helped get it passed through the House, but, it's been stuck in the Senate since 1993.)

If anyone was truly serious about getting the politicians to change their minds, PACs are not the way to do it. A pac did not make America change it's mind about homosexuality, other Americans did. A pac did not help change how Americans feel about same-sex marriage, other Americans did. I firmly believe that it is through grassroots organizations, with education and communication with the American public that will change our fellow American's views about discrimination, not PACs. In my opinion, you are wasting your time and your money. Especially your money.

As for Queer to the Left, don't know 'em, not gonna knock 'em.

Now for Deb Mell.

I've been hearing that she's been getting some flack for being, not so visible. Earlier this year, she did an interview on Channel 2 with her father, Chicago Alderman Richard Mell.

If it is a conscious choice, I can't blame her really. She's working for the city after all, and, her father is a very prominent Democrat who is currently in support of Kerry, and, recently made a rather large donation to his campaign. Chicago is a democratic city after all; it would only make sense in the perverted world of politics to endorse the Democratic candidate (instead of the right one, you know, Nader). When you're the daughter of a prominent Democratic party player, you tend to lay low out of respect for the family. Especially during a uber sensitive year like this one. It doesn't help when you have a potential felony charge hanging over your head either (of which she was aquitted, by the way; turns out witness testimony didn't add up with the female cop's story).

I guess if I were in her shoes, I would be doing the same thing. With the exception of good ol' Rod. I'd be kicking him in the balls every time he walked through the door and I sure as hell would not even think of having him sit at my table.

"Hey, uh, Rod., why don't you go fuck yourself for a couple of hours while I catch up with my sis and the kids? Thanks!"

*Door slam in the gov's face*

Then again, I am a bitch and I just wouldn't care what anybody thought, it would be, after all, my house. My house, my rules. Respect the person who owns it, and, you shall be respected in return, BIATCH!!!!!

By the way, this post took me over two hours, three cans of C2 and two trips to the bathroom to write. I also didn't mention that someone from HRC came to me and Glenn while we were waiting for the rest of the group and took a picture of us together. He also bought two ribbons and made a $3 donation.

I'm heading out tonight to Temp's to meet up with a former stalker-girl (I attract psychos apparently) and her new gf. Turns out my friend D has a history with her, too. Thank God I don't. I'm easy, but not that easy.This is the MB chick I mentioned in the post after M's grill/game night.

I'm off! Have lots of fun tonight, even if it's in front of the TV cheering the US on in the Olympics!!

By the way, W, I didn't mean to not respond to your post or email, but, it's been seven years. It's just like you said to me once; "You think too much. Just live." So, get a move on, girl!!!!

After my long-winded post yesterday, I figured a break would be in order, so, here goes:

This is the coolest fucking bear ever!

Maybe this should be our weapon of mass destruction.

Fun stuff, kiddies. Fun stuff.

Okay, so, there has been this, we'll call it an exchange, in EMN via email. All about Nader, of course. All about Nader and the electoral college, which I think should be removed from existence. This would force the candidates to campaign directly to the citizens, not kiss the asses of a handful. The job of the college is to respect the will of the popular vote and choose the candidate of the people. The problem is that the electoral college has voted against the popular vote three times in history already, and, our country as we know it is only a few hundred years old.

The first was in 1824, where John Q. Adams won against Andrew Jackson, in 1876, where Rutherford B. Hayes won against Samuel J. Tilden and in 1888, where Benjamin Harrison won against Grover Cleveland. The 1960 vote was close (Kennedy vs. Nixon).

Now, for those of you that are huge history buffs, maybe you can tell me what the points were for the electoral college going against the popular vote, but, quite honestly, the only thing I see is that the fate of this country was decided by the House or the College itself. I have a huge problem with a small group of people deciding who our nation's leader is going to be, despite the fact that the House is supposed to be a more true representation of the populace.

About Nader, all I have to say is that the guy is allowed to do what he's doing. Just as I am allowed to ignore him, which is exactly what I did when I passed the petition that was handed out at the EMN meeting Monday to my right, without signing it. He's exercising his right, and, I exercised mine. That's the American way.

As for Nader himself, there were days I wanted to kick his ass. I, like many head-up-my-ass Democrats blamed Nader for Gore not getting into the White House. I now realize that was an incredibly stupid thought process. Nader did not get one single electoral vote. It was Gore's fault and the indifference of many Americans whose support that Gore didn't get. My indifference included; I did not vote in the 2000 elections, hence me joining EMN!

But, with the easy access to harassment that AIM gave to users in 2000, I got a shitload of responses for the entry of "A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush" in my profile. The responses I got from Nader-philes;

"Nader is the alternative for the people"

"Nader is a real American"

and my personal favorite

"If Nader gets enough votes this election, he'll have access to $20 million for his campaign next election." (because of Presidential campaign laws)

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!

"Did you just say that you want Nader to get enough votes for $20 million? That's the only reason you have" I thought. My response was this;

So, let me get this right; you want to throw away 4 years to some raging religoholic so that some guy can have $20 million bucks? Are you saying that America is only worth $20 million dollars to you?

The Nader-phile had no response. By the end of the statement, the Nader-phile made the conscious decision to block me.

How incredibly fucking shocking.

Turns out all that the Nader campaign wanted was the exact same thing that all politicians want; money and power, fueled by the same thing - greed.

Hence my theory of campaigns; the politician's campaign is their interpretation of their greed. In danger of tooting my own horn, it's that simple. Their greed is merely packaged so that the public can be dazzled and thrilled by it. It's made to be inspiring and created to be unifying.

Let's face it, really. If these filthy rich fuckers running for office really loved their country as they so claim, they would be President for free.

That's right bitches, you would do this for free. You have enough money, it's not like you really need more. What, are you afraid of not having all the $1000 bills in the series? Don't have enough $100's to wipe your ass with after you shit? Manage your money better, bitches.

Don't get me wrong Mr. Sell-out, you would still have the Secret Service protection and would still be able to use Air Force One and shit, but, I'd be handing you the gas bill, the labor bill and the insurance bill for that sexy thing. On yeah, let's see how much you'd be flying around in that ride after you get the first bill.

And taking your ass on a heli to go from one end of the House lawns to the other? Charged for that too, bitch! Fuel and labor. You'd be walking from one end of D.C. to the other than have to pay for that. Guess what? That works out anyway; let's face it, being the President of the U.S. is a pretty stressful job, and, nothing works off stress better than walking. Hop to it fat ass!

Yes, I want a leader who stays true to his/her word, that truly believes that they are charged by the American people to lead them, who does not compromise true values in pursuit of public office, but, folks, we live in a Capitalist society, and, our politicians go the Capitalist way.

Unless we, the common people begin to realize that we do have power (grassroots organizations) and begin to harness and use it, our democratic system will always be a victim of capitalism.

But, then again, as humans we are bound by our nature to be afraid of change.

We are our own victims.

We must be the change we wish to see

-Mahatma Gandhi-

Excuse me, Mr. President, excuse me, Mr. President, I understand that something is coming back to bite you in your ass. Mr. President......

And, um, is this right? Someone is actually questioning anti-gay legislation in the South?

Hmmm, interesting, indeed.........

Before I forget, I dropped myself from HRC's email list on Friday. I also sent them an email, which I copied here;

I am removing myself from your email list for one simple reason; your sickening and blind devotion to John Kerry. It makes me sick that as an organization that claims to represent the gay community, you proudly, openly and willingly attach yourself to a candidate that has proudly, openly and willingly stated that he does not believe in gay marriage.

But, what actions I saw from representatives of your organization during Chicago's Halsted Market Days has compelled me to do this.

I am a new member of Equal Marriage NOW!, a Chicago based group that works for equal marriage for all (I use this for identification purposes only-this is a statement from myself solely). I volunteered some of my time to work the booth this organization had shared with CABN on Sunday, August 8, 2004.

Several of the other people who volunteered decided to walk up and down Halsted Street to obtain signatures, pass out informational literature, and to accept some small donations from the crowd. These individuals ended up on front of your booth.

Someone from your organization stepped out from behind the desk at your booth, and, approached these three people (two of which were no more than 20 years old). This person from your booth, wearing your shirt, screamed at them, saying that they were making trouble and causing problems.

Instead of being a civilized human being and politely asking the EMN volunteers to move away from the HRC booth, this person treated the EMN volunteers like shit, yelling and screaming at them like the EMN people were wild animals.

This behavior infuriated me. I've been spending this time finding a way to word this to you without stooping to the low level of that scum bag who screamed at those EMN volunteers.

Your open endorsement of Anti-Gay candidates John Kerry and John Edwards was already bad enough, but, the actions of your representatives at Market Days was even worse.

Instead of opening a dialogue with our group, you shouted our people down with self-righteousness. You're beginning to sound like Republicans. You really need to stop.

Sincerely

I know that I am only one person, but, I know that gays are leaving HRC in droves. The fallout from the Margaret Cho incident was just the beginning.

This is going to be an ugly year for all of us.

So, I come home from work, make myself a big bowl of micro popcorn, sit down to watch the Olympics, and, what do my eyes see? The US team getting their ass whooped, beat and stomped by the Puerto Ricans. 92-73. WTF?

The US professional basketball team getting their asses whooped for the first time in Olympic history since the pros were allowed to play. Mmmm, that's some good reputation.

This proves my point that pros should not be allowed to play. As our Olympic team began to represent more and more of our professional athletic segment, the quality of the play has gone in the shitter. They've lost "it". They actually never had "it".

What is "it"?

Passion. Drive. Purpose.

Why would you try to work at it when you always can go back to your cushy-ass multi-million dollar position in the NBA? Why would you want to play aggressively when you know that an injury might keep you out for the NBA season? Yeah, why?

Because you are representing your country, BIATCH! Even though we have a president that is making free speech a joke, that has successfully alienated every nation, and has gotten us kicked out of the World Court and has broken multiple treaties, it is your job as a true representative of our nation to show the world that good still exists in our country; that people are still willing to fight for what they believe in, that no leader, no matter God-like he may think he is, can stiffle the passion of America or it's citizens.

But, instead, you go and show what they already think America is good for; capitalism.

Irresponsible capitalism.

Thanks.

On to news on the Latin front.....

It looks like I won't be getting that promotion after all. The guy who is the current senior won't step up, due to the no-pay-raise situation, and, they won't give me the spot because they know I'll be expecting a raise. The other guy who also applied for the spot (who only makes $9 an hour) found out that he wouldn't be getting a pay raise either if he took it. Which lead me to believe that I wouldn't get one either.
Geez, I understand that some monkey thought that all of this restructuring would work wonders, but, if you guys aren't even willing to pay more money for someone's promotion, then, don't be all shocked and shit when you can't find people who want to get promoted. Do you honestly think that we don't talk to potential hires, especially out of the building? You're sadly mistaken if you do. You think word doesn't get around? Take a look at the stock price, jackasses, it does.

Preach all you want about how Wal-Mart and Dell is taking our market share. Bitch at us about how Target is doing a better job at sight-lines and stocking and cleanliness; we all know that you believe that if we hear this shit long enough that we'll start believing it. The problem is that while you keep pulling these lies out of your ass, staring at your reflection in the mirror while you say them, looking for the right tone and facial expression to give them life, you don't realize that you're staring at the problem in the first place.

Stepping off of my soapbox now.

Okay, so, it's not tomorrow, but, it's close enough.

Okay, so, on to the McGreevey thing. Only one word comes to mind. ASSHOLE.

I'm not a violent person, really. I've only gotten into two instances of fisticuffs with class bullies during grade school. None in high school. I would rather talk my way out of a fight, and, as a last stance, I would simply run away (as I did during when a bunch of neo-Nazi chicks ran after me - those fuckers regretted that decision).

But if I ever saw that man walking down my street, I'd kick HIS ASS. I would beat the living fuck out of him. Then the dying fuck out of him. Stupid S.O.B.

This is exactly what I told my therapist today. Without all the swear words. She's a short old Jewish lady after all, I don't want to shock her too much.

Why?

Because his dumb ass self single-handedly set back the gay rights movement at least 10 years. Instead of being truthful about his involvement about his former security aide, Cipel, instead of admitting that he used his influence as governor wrongly (he got Cipel a shit load of jobs, none of which Cipel seemed to be able to hold), McGreevey turned his indiscretion into a public fiasco. Instead of coming clean about the fact that Cipel was in fact his lover for an extensive amount of time (not just a fling as McGreevey played during his speech), his self serving speech dwelled on his infidelity as if it would have caused the world to end.

Sorry, but, you were and are not that important, jackass. Everybody fucks up in the end. Everybody fucks up grandiose-style at least once in their lifetime; I personally can count at least five times I did. That does not entitle you to go and broadcast it to the whole world in an attempt to feel special. This could have been handled behind closed doors, but, he chose this path. He is a very shallow man.

Yes, I am very angry about it. As a gay American, I am entitled to be angry about it. In this critical time, gays will come off as being unworthy of marriage rights because we "force" ourselves into relationships that we know will not work, or, that we fool ourselves into thinking will work. We will be viewed as being unable to keeps the vows of marriage because of our "tendencies" (instead of the realization that our orientation is in fact genetic). This public fiasco will be the very proof that the religious right needed in their fight against gay marriage.

I can see it now; "They can't keep their vows in straight marriages, why should we give them gay marriage rights".

Well, why should we get them Mr. McGreevey? Why?

So, yeah, the governor for N.H. is resigning because he cheated on his wife. He cheated on his wife because he's gay. He's leaving the office so as to not tarnish the image of the office. Yeah, I'm sure that pending same-sex harassment suit has nothing to do with it whatsoever, huh asswipe?
I'll be talking about this more in depth tomorrow. The emails are flying fast & furious on this one at EMN.

Right now, I'd like to focus on a lighter note. The note according to Junk e-mail.

So, in the past three days I've received emails from different chicks with a familiar sounding name; Christy Creme. No, I'm not yankin' your chain, this shit is for real.

It was Christy Creme at first, then it was Kristy Cream, then Kristy Kreme, then Christy Kream. Oh, how original, dipshitz. Gee, I wonder what you're selling?

Remember kiddies, when it comes to porno junk e-mail, just say "no" to Krispy Kremes...I mean Christy Kremes...I mean, oh fuck it, you know what I mean.

I know that I have not posted since Sunday, and, for all the bitching I've done in the past, I really should be better at keeping this thing up. I fucked up, I'm sorry.

Now, on to the news and views.

Well, the emails from EMN have been flying back and forth. Looks like the Beenie Man concert scheduled for 10/25 has been cancelled. Not only did the dumbass have homophobic lines in his past albums, but, the genius went and put them on his new CD. In the track "Damn", there is a line that goes "I'm dreaming of a new Jamaica, come to kill all the gays".

Turns out RJ Reynolds tobacco company did not know that he included the lyric before they signed him for the tour they were sponsoring. They dropped him like a bad habit. Not only is his appearance cancelled here, it's been cancelled in Philly and several other cities.

Take that, BIATCH!!!!! When you start to lose money in one of the most lucrative music markets in the world, maybe you'll think twice about your head-up-your-ass views.

I was especially pissed after reading about how during his first gig in Pensylvania was nearly cancelled. He commented during the performance that gays didn't understand his music. He stated that he merely wanted to protect children from being molested.

Oh really, asshole! You want to protect children from being molested. Try this, fuck-nuts! Why don't you protest the Catholic church, you know, the one headed by that idiot Pope that keeps shuffling child molesters from one church to another? You can try this too, shit-for-brains; why don't you stop assuming that gays are the molesters and realize that for all the energy you put towards hating us, you could be spending it going after real child molesters? You know, the ones that laugh at you while they download kiddie porn from sites that their wives' friends' husbands gave them, go to secret meetings with other pervs like themselves in nice restaurants to exchange pics of nude kids (sometimes even their own). The ones you think aren't the ones because they are nice and clean-cut and married.

Speaking as a woman who was molested when she was a kid, it disgusts me to even think of touching a kid in a sexual manner, and, quite honestly, I would beat the shit out of anyone who did if ever I knew them personally. I am all too familiar with the pain and self-loathing of being molested, and it just happened to me once. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to have had it happen to me repeatedly.

Making such accusations makes me wonder about something. It makes me wonder why someone would not only accuse someone else of that horrible act, but, even more scary, why even the vision or thought of the act would enter their mind in the first place. It takes one to know one, so they say. The more you think about it, the scarier it gets. I always question the integrity of the person making the accusation, whether they are able to bind themselves to the very standards they seek, or, whether they think by accusing others, they may seek their own redemption.

Scary.

Very scary.

I'll move on.

On the job front, it looks like I may be in line for a potential promotion, which will result in a much needed pay raise and a secure 40 hours a week. I've been averaging 32 or 33 a week, which has been killing my paycheck, and eroding at my vacation hours (at my job, we can use vacation hours to make up a full 40 hour work week). The problem is that if the guy I would be replacing moves, he doesn't get a pay raise, he'll keep his current pay. He makes nearly $18/hr in his current position, so, you can see why he wouldn't get a raise. So, there is no motivation for him to step up.

He does however, want to leave the store. He wants to transfer to a new location that we are opening up in Chicago's Buck Town area. If he could move there, he could get a raise simply because it would be a high volume store. He would have a better chance to move as a supervisor to the new location than in the position he is in now. The only problem is that he would have to rub a couple of people the wrong way in the process. These same people are the ones who have prevented him from moving out of the store in the first place. When he asked me what I would do, I told him to take the promotion and start making phone calls. Rub those people the wrong way; all of them.

You can't hold somebody back simply because you like them; it always comes back to bite you in the ass. I said give those bitches the bite. What have they done for you? Nothing. Do it, I said. Fuck 'em.

I'll know either tomorrow, or, when I get back to work on Sunday. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Fun stuff. And the bullshit keeps on truckin'.

After a hectic day at work, and, an awesome day at Market Days (I got at least 100 signatures & we sold 10-12 shirts while I was there; I think I got $50 in donations alone!), I go to read my mail and find this;

if you do not take me off your mailing list I am going to do whatever it takes to have you fined for all you junk mail I am reseaving. I have asked five times to be taken off your list. Ihave tried to get your unsubscribe page. but I can never get on it as it tells me page can not be displayed.I have talked to someone in your office who said i'd be taken off your list. thats been a month I'm still getting your junk.I will report you as spamers.NOW TAKE ME OFF YOUR E_MAIL LIST TODAY

This is the email, unedited. Besides the obvious lack of punctuation and capitalization, this dipshit can't even spell "receiving" right, and doesn't know that "you" and "your" are two separate words that have two separate meanings. For the record, EMN doesn't have an office, and, doesn't have the power to remove someone from the mailing list unless they have gone through extensive efforts to prove that the intent of the individual receiving them is malicious.
In other words, this twat has to be an asshole to everyone in the group (posting hate mail and shit). EMN is on someone else's server right now, so, this person can't be "removed" from any mailing list.

I do have to say this much; if you are not out of the closet, then don't subscribe to the mailing list of a group that screams "Gay & Lesbian". Just go to the fuckin' meetings, and, let the members know that you're not out yet. Sheesh. Oh, yeah, something else....there's this button at the top of your browser that says "Refresh" , try hitting that next time, doofus.

Yeah, tomorrow will be fun.
Went up to the EMN booth, and, it turns out that we hadn't sold the 100 shirts necessary to pay off the cost of making them, and, they were selling for $10, not $15.
Looks like I will have to turn on my sales charm when I get there tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully they will have sold the 100 shirts so that I can work on just making some profit. It doesn't help when all you do is sit in the booth feeling sorry for yourselves because you aren't selling shirts.
I'm not gonna get myself all worked up about this; I have to be at work at 6am tomorrow. I will just go to bed, knowing that I enjoyed myself immensely tonight. And, champagne slushies ROCK!

Okay, so, it looks like I'll be at Market Days today from about 6pm on. This will be fun considering the fact that I have to be at work at 6am tomorrow. Very fun. The good thing is that I will be able to get a shirt before the booth runs out tomorrow. I would look stupid trying to get signatures and donations not wearing a shirt from EMN. Stooopid!

Well, after I spent three hours on my closet yesterday, I didn't get to do laundry. So, I get to do that now. More fun stuff.

I've just spent the past three hours (including a trip to Target for new shoe racks) cleaning out my closet. Ridiculous.
I am a pack-rat above the rest. I ended up throwing away two bags of garbage. Ick. I haven't seen my closet floor since I moved into this place.
Tomorrow, after I drop my mom off at work, I've got two more garbage bags of clothes I need to take to the Earth Gaia green dropbox near my house. It may end up being three. I still have four totes of clothes that I need to go through, most of which contain clothes that either do fit now, or, don't fit now.

Amazing what losing 35 pounds can do for your wardrobe. I will be asking for gift certificates for either Old Navy or New York & Company this Xmas. Maybe one from Target.

After doing the math in my head several times, it looks like I'll be out of my Chapter 13 either the end of this year, or, early next year, which means that I can get my head above water, and, start to save some real money for a car. I didn't do the math right the last time, because the court trustee only gets paid once (some $600), unless I happen to be wrong about that. If you know different or better, please feel free to correct me. Please.

I'm going to bed. I have to be up, showered, dressed and have eaten by 9am tomorrow morning.

The 30 vs. the Log Cabin Republican

So, the one interesting thing that happened during the EMN meeting on Monday was that a Log Cabiner came to our group wanting our co-endorsement of a petition that they will be presenting at Market Days. We all pretty much shot it down because of the state's right's argument that they put into it.
The wording could have been changed in time for Market days here in Chicago, which probably would have worked for us, if it weren't for the fact that the petition, as worded, was the version endorsed by the national chapter. There would have been no time for the national chapter to adopt and endorse the new version that we wanted.

Is it really a matter of semantics? Yes. Yes because we want a petition that states that it is no one's right (state's or otherwise) to take away a civil institution to a group of people that by right of the Constitution are guaranteed it, but, by the laws of the religious zealots don't have it yet.

I know this discussion deserves a better length of time and space, but, right now, I just don't have the head for it. I'm on the tail end of this flu/cold.

I will be at the EMN! Booth on Sunday from 4pm on for those of you that will be at Market Days on Sunday. Please stop by, buy a t-shirt for $15 (if we have any left) or, if that seems a bit much for your wallet, go ahead and make a donation at our booth. We will be sharing it with CABN. It will be just south of the 7-Eleven.

Go on, have a good time! For those 80's fans out there, Flock of Seagulls will be performing at 8pm at the Miller Lite Roscoe Stage, and for the lesbos, Cathy Richardson will be at the Chicago Free Press Belmont Stage. Cathy is awesome live! Did I ever tell you guys that I have a CD autographed by her.

Umm, that's a good Bush-ism!

Well, boys and girls, here it is:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said.
"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Excuse me, Mr. President, could you please clarify that statement? Um, then again, maybe you shouldn't.

It gets better;

White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Bush's misstatement "just shows even the most straightforward and plain-spoken people misspeak."

Is that what that he's been doing for the past four years?

"But the American people know this president speaks with clarity and conviction, and the terrorists know by his actions he means it," McClellan said.

Uh, no, actually he doesn't and no, actually, they don't. Have you been watching Jay Leno lately? He does this thing on his show where he compares Dubya's Spanish and English. Turns out Dubya's Spanish is better than his English. Not too bad for a whitey like him. Too bad that a good chunk of the people he's talking to can't register to vote. Ouchie.


**Still keeping my fingers crossed on the Washington thing. Looks like the judge ruled on the "due process" clause in that state's constitution. The one that says that due process can't be denied to anyone.**

Update on the war for Equal Marriage Rights:

Us: Washington ( keeping fingers crossed) and Massachusetts

The Closet Gay Hating Gay Bashers: 48 states to go

Sorry about not posting yesterday, kiddies. You'd think that I would be able to post everyday being on vacation and all, but, not so in my case. That flu that I thought I got over, well, I actually didn't get over. I've been sleeping til 2 or 3 in the afternoon the past several days to help out. Today is the first day since Friday that I was up before noon.

Well, I realized that there were several things that I did not elaborate on from the party on Saturday; I'll get the good one out of the way first.

Since our dinner together, I've felt a little awkward trying to give a hug to M. Well, at 4:30 in the morning, I went to give her one without thinking. I realized what I had done after I had done it, and, after a bit, it felt weird because it felt like she was holding on to it a bit longer than I had expected. It could have been the nearly 10 hours I was there, or, the booze tapering off, I don't know.

Now, the bad stuff.

There was a woman there that I had not seen for several years. We'll call her MB. But, that's right several years. That length of time is unheard of in the lesbian community around here. You always end up bumping into someone somewhere ar some point; there is no escaping it. But, it just so happens that I had not seen her in that period of time.
When I first saw her, all the memories came rushing back. Right from the beginning. You see, she was someone that I had met through my friend D. We met one night, actually, it was at one of Temp's Halloween parties, several years ago. The exact amount of time that I had not seen her.

At said Halloween party, D introduced us and we started talking. It was the usual chit-chat of "Are you single? You live on your own?" blah, blah, blah. So, as MB and I were talking, another woman comes up to me and introduces herself to me. Only to me, not to me and MB , just me. Kinda makes you think that she's interested in me, right?

It gets better. MB pulls a 180 on me and starts asking me shit like whether I like her, whether I want to go out with her, shit like that. In a very possessive tone. It starts freaking me out, and, I start moving away from her. So, I start hanging with the chick who intro'd herself herself to me, we'll call her A. We danced and stuff, exchanged phone numbers, and, she ended up leaving the bar before I did. I walked her out to her car and got a hug and shit, nothing really major; I was just being nice and butch and all.

I get back into the bar and MB begins her quizzing again. WTF? I'm furiously looking around for D when she comes up out of nowhere and starts talking to the two of us again. Then out of the blue, MB says that she has to get going. We all say our goodbyes (mine was very grateful) and she leaves. I don't remember what happened after that (I had way too many drinks) other than sitting in someone's car with C at the wheel (C is D's gf) and her speeding like a bat out of hell. C had a lot more drinks than I did, and, is an angry drunk.

If you've kept up so far, here's the kicker; all the time I was being quizzed by MB and somehow got A's number, I had my ex on my mind. You see, this Halloween party was the weekend before my first date with my ex. And, I really wouldn't call it a date; it was a date that became three days together. A really kick-ass three days together.

So, yeah, this should be it in so far as recounting and stuff. Now, I'm off to sit on my ass and stuff my face while I watch Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions. Don't worry, I fast foward through most of those two movies too.

So, my mom came into my bedroom at around 7:15 this morning to yell at me about wash rags missing. As usual, she blamed me for them being gone when I don't even use them. The thought of using a rag that continually stays in a damp area accumulating exponentially gross amounts of germs sickens me alone. The thought of using it on my body is unheard of and would result in violent projectile vomit.

I just went through her hamper (gross in of itself) and found the other three wash rags she bitched about being missing. Shocking that I found them there. Living with an OCD whose bipolar is bad enough, but, when you stop letting them push your buttons and they start doing that shit is ridiculous. I actually had to hold my bedroom door shut so that she couldn't come in. That's when she got the point.

Ridiculous. Anyways, I have to get my butt up off of this thing because I have a meeting of EMN! that I am going to tonight and I have a sink full of dirty dishes that is calling my name.

Oh, did I mention that I am on vacation this week? Yes, VACATION!!!! Beautiful vacation. At least when my mom isn't here.


Just one more thing. People update your f*ckin blogs at least once a month, okay? Even if you just put a "hi" of a "hello", that's okay for me. After a month, you get kicked off of my blog list. I don't put you back on either.

Okay, well, I'm back, finishing what I started.

I've been waiting for a phone call back from the movie theater; I dropped off a copy of my resume several weeks ago, and, the guy called back today. I missed his call, so, I left a message with someone who works there, and, on his cell. Not getting my hopes up too much.

So, about the grill out. I had the best time in a long time. Why? I came out of my shell. Those who know me know that I tend to be a wallflower at parties, especially if I am there alone. Not single alone, just alone. I knew no one when I got there, and, when I left, got to know at least 20 different women. And they got to know me. Which in of itself was amazing and liberating for me.

My mom's Mexican rice casserole was a hit, and, her bf's flan was very well received.

I got to meet many women as I said, and, as expected, I came across the stereotypical members of a large group of lesbians. Let me break them down.

The woman who knows everybody - this personality exists in every group; they know everybody by some way of a drinking party, drunk dancing, sexual experimentation, uncomfortable sexual experiences, etc. I hope you're getting the point. This woman knows everybody, and, at least everybody's seen her tits.

The slut - this is the person who has done it all, and, has it all. If you don't know what "it" is, then you're S.O.L. If they haven't done it all, then they've come pretty damn close to, and, have a checklist in their heads to make sure they get it all done.

The artiste - this group has several. They aspire to be famous, or, at least the best at whatever art they are working in. They tend to be snobs and hang around their own kind, grossly insecure at the thought of being around someone who is not of their kind, and, criticize what efforts others make in their field.

The stable couple - there were at least six of these that I know of, and, they are secure in their relationship enough to flirt with other women, and, not have their partner get offended, at least publicly. The "children" couple is a variation of this, and, several of those were there.

The "newly out" woman - these are women who have just recently come out, or realized that they are in fact gay. They tend to have kids, and, unfortunately, their (usually) shit-tay husbands have custody. In some instances, it was best for the kids to be with there father, but, in most it's not. In most instances where the father got custody (and he shouldn't have), the kids usually end up constantly running away and in & out of trouble with the law. These kids are also very excepting of who and what their mothers are. These women are always looking for friends, and, in a good part of the instances, are looking for their first.

Then there is everybody else, including me, just looking to have a good time, single or not. Everybody had a good time, some more of a good time than others (like me who drank way too fuckin much), which is why women were there until 4:30 in the morning. We were all sobering up. Why? Well, cause it is stupid to drink and drive, but, it would have been a pain in the ass to try to drive back from her house drunk. I drove past her street three times while I was sober.

Very good time overall. I also got to meet a MTF. Not a WTF, but, a MTF. Full fleged after surgery and on hormones MTF. Wow. She was tall too, well over six feet, and, a lesbian.

It boggles me that someone would go through the MTF process only to become a lesbian. My ex and I talked about that extensively for hours, and, I still couldn't grasp the concept. Her best explanation was this; because you are born with your attractions intact (you're born to like men or women), your choice of sex partner is already determined. What isn't determined is whether you should be a man or a woman. That is left up to chance. Chance can be wrong, and, in some cases it is. That is where the folly lies. That is where you find out that maybe, just maybe, you were born the wrong sex, and, we live in a time that people can change that if they can afford it.

Unfortunately, we also still live in a time that people don't believe that process of thought is right, and, that God makes you what you are for a reason. I am a student of that thought, but, I am working towards changing it. Being raised in a Catholic household tends to lead to some brainwashing that takes time to erase.

Okay, so, this is long enough. I won't be giving my full length synopsis of the Village, but, I will say this; the twist at the end is so way out there, you'll either hate the whole movie, or, you'll think the twist was brilliant, but, that it killed the mood of the movie completely.



Just kidding, I am so totally gonna tell you guys about it!



The setting is small villiage America in the 19th century. The movie opens with a meeting of the Elders. In walks Lucius (Joaquin Phoenix), who reads a request to the Elders to go the to "the Towns" beyond Covington Woods to get medicine for illness and maybe a cure for the ignorance of Noah (Adrien Brody). You discover that Noah is the village idiot. The Elders let him read his request and smile after he is done. Nice. You then have several encounters with "Those We Do Not Speak Of" (the creatures), included in the promo shots on TV along with other scenes that establish mood and relationships. You are also introduced to the "black boxes" that each Elder has in their home.

In the meantime, we meet Ivy, who is blind and her role as the caretaker of the children. You also discover that she is charged with Noah's keep. You discover the love triangle between Noah, Lucius and Ivy.

After one of the encounters with the "monsters", Lucius admits his love for Ivy, and, word spreads through the Villiage that they are to be betrothed. Noah learns of this, and, in a hysterical rage, he walks into Lucius' home and stabs him repeatedly. No one learns of Noah's crime until he is seen on his parent's porch with his hands stained with Lucius's blood. Lucius is discovered barely alive, and, is tended to. The problem is that an infection is beginning to spread through him, and, he can only be cured with medicine from the "Towns".

Her father, one of the town's Elders (William Hurt), agrees to let Ivy go through the woods to the "Towns" to get medicine. On the way, he prepares her for the truth. The monsters in red that everyone has been seeing are fake. They were created by the Elders to keep the people of the Village in the Village. This is the only burden she will have to carry. But, there are more secrets.

As she goes through the woods, she is given two guides, both of whom chicken out and leave her to go on alone (they leave the blind chick alone! fuckin asswipes). Although she has been told that the creatures are not real, she discovers that there is one lurking in the woods, following her. She does kill it, trapping it by standing in front of a huge hole in the ground (the kind that if you fell in the wrong way, you'd die) and letting it fall in.

She eventually finds the "road" (her father told her to go through the woods following the sound of the creek to find it). and takes it to the end. You discover the end is a large fence of some kind, which she climbs over, thinking the "Towns" are on the other side.

As she climbs down the side of the fence, a guy in security guard uniform pulls up driving a 2002 Ford Explorer, and, asks her why's she hanging around there. She says to him that she needs medication and gives him the list her father made for her before she left. She also offers a gold watch as payment.

This guy gets her the meds she needs, stunned the whole time because he can't believe she lives in the forest he's protecting. As she heads back, the camera pans over to some signs on the fence, and, you discover that it is disguised as an animal sanctuary. Even airplanes aren't allowed to fly over, to maintain authenticity of the enviroment of the Village. Big shock for me, let me tell you, along with everybody else in the theater.

As Ivy walks back to the village, the shots scan back to the village and to the black box that her father has (mentioned earlier). He opens the black box, and, you discover the truth. Turns out that each of the Elders lived in NYC in the 70's. They were all part of a therapy group, and, Ivy's father made the suggestion of creating the Village. Each Elder suffered a devastating loss because of money, and, chose to create a place where money did not exist.

Ivy returns to the town, and, tells her tale of killing one of the creatures. You find out that the creature was in fact Noah himself; he had escaped from the room he was being held in, and, found the creature costume that his parents (being of the Elders) kept in that room. Ivy, having seen nothing, holds that only the creatures aren't real, and that after her experience, that they may in fact exist.

The Elders decide to keep the Village going, despite the extreme violence that has spanned over the past several days.

The movie ends there.

The sun is dawning on one of the longest and best nights I've had in a long time.

I won't elaborate now because my body needs sleep and my mind needs rest. All I will say is that new friends were made, old friends were rediscovered, some conceptions were shattered and some were redefined.

What I want and what I expect were both put before me, and, in the chatter, in the noise, in the joy, in the moment, I found what I needed the most. I found my voice, and, I began to use it. I found my hand and began to shake others. I found my fear of attachment gone, and, I began to attach. Most of all, I found myself and did not fear letting others know me.

The wallflower is growing away from the wall. One day, my roots will find their place away from it.

Baby steps I take for some, giant leaps I take for myself. Perception is everything to everyone who has one.

More later today. By the way, I saw the Village Friday night. If you don't want to know what the movie is about, I suggest you come back in several days so that the post will be further down the page.