Last but not least......

For those of you who are still considering voting for Nader, despite the fact that Kerry has lost a bit of his lead here in Illinois, read this;

Ralph Nader: Let The Voter Beware
by Thom Hartmann

The frauds and deceptions of the Bush administration are legion and, sadly, to be expected, based on the Bush family's past (from sweetheart business deals going back to WWII, to smearing John McCain in South Carolina in 2000, to lying to the American people just before the election of 2002 about the threats Iraq posed).
But few people expected Ralph Nader - one of America's finest defenders of the public interest and the commons - to employ deception in an election.
Specifically, Nader has gone to great lengths to exploit the lack of knowledge most Americans have about how other democracies around the world work, and thus deceive people about both the history and present reality of our electoral system and the role of third parties in it.

........

The major flaw was that national elections are held on a first-past-the-post, winner-takes-all basis. Which means that if three or more candidates compete in a race, it's virtually guaranteed that somebody with less than a majority of the vote will end up winning political power. The result of this flaw is non-democratic minority rule, instead of the democratic ideal of majority rule.
A good example of this happened in the 2002 election in my state of Vermont, where the Republican candidates became Governor and Lieutenant Governor with 45 percent and 41 percent of the vote respectively because each had more votes than his Democratic or Progressive opponents alone. (Example: Republican Brian Dubie - 41%; Democrat Peter Shumlin - 32%; Progressive Anthony Pollina - 25%. The Republican "won.") The majority of Vermont voters selected liberal or progressive candidates, but conservatives are in charge of the state - the exact anti-democratic result that gave some of the Framers nightmares.
James Madison was the most outspokenly worried about this. In the 1787 Federalist #10, he goes into a lengthy discussion of the danger of "factions" - one aspect of what we today call political parties - emerging. First he puts a good face on the problem, suggesting that the new Constitution will solve the "violence" done to democracy by factions. But in the next sentence, he admits his fear that he and the other Framers had not truly solved the problem of what would happen if "factions" were to emerge.

.....
The problem was that if factions were to emerge as political parties, it would mean there could only be two of them, for if more than two parties emerged then the majority of people would almost always remain unrepresented, while the most well-organized minority would end up ruling.

.....

Most of the rest of the world, however, has learned from our mistake and taken a different path.
Of the 86 other "fully democratic" nations in the world (according to the UN), only a few like Greece and Australia had repeated our mistake, although Australia solved the problem with a national variation on what in America is called Instant Runoff Voting (IRV), where you select your first, second, third, etc., preference among candidates, and if there's no majority winner, the "instant runoff" is instantly recalculated.
Had this been in place in the US in 2000, for example, and had most of Nader's voters chosen Gore as their second choice (as most polls indicate was the case), then when neither Gore nor Bush received more than 50 percent of the vote, Nader's first-choice votes (he being the lowest of the vote-drawers) would have reverted to their second-choice and Gore would have been elected by the majority of the people (as he was anyway, but that's a different rant).
.....

While many local governments in America are becoming more democratic by instituting IRV (mostly at the urging of the Green Party), we still have a federal system that is purely winner-take-all, and thus "most democratic" when only two parties compete. (And even then only partially as "democratic" as IRV or proportional representation nations.)

Which brings us back to Ralph Nader.

In a February 2004 appearance on Meet The Press, Nader said to Tim Russert, "You'd never find that type of thing [resistance to a third party] in Canada or Western democracies in Europe. It is an offense to deny millions of people who might want to vote for our candidacy an opportunity to vote for our candidacy. Instead, they [the Republicans and Democrats] want to say, 'No, we're not going to let you have an opportunity to vote,' for our candidacy."
Nader added, "There's a tremendous bias in state laws against third parties and independent candidates bred by the two major parties, who passed these laws. They don't like competition."
Amazingly, many people are taken in by this argument, as they don't understand the difference between our system and those of most European nations, and don't realize that our election system was developed before there were any political parties whatsoever. Tragically, Nader's argument is most readily believed on college campuses, where study of American history and political science in both high school and college is at an all-time low.
Why would Ralph Nader try so hard to mislead his audiences? He is no fool, and as an attorney he certainly knows the history and content of the US Constitution. Many progressives are baffled as to why he would work so hard to perpetuate ignorance - particularly among young voters - about the crucial issue of how democracies work and how our republic can be made more democratic.
Unfortunately, at the moment, third parties mean less, not more democracy when it comes to voting in most elections in the US (because they cause minority-supported candidates to be elected and majorities of voters are thus unrepresented). Yet third (and fourth and fifth, etc.) parties are also critical to bringing out issues that the two big parties don't or won't address.
The simple solution is to institute IRV in the United States, a step that many communities across the country have already taken. But to do this at the national level will require the agreement and participation of at least one of the two major parties - which is why many Progressives are supporting the Greens and, at the same time, infiltrating and becoming active in the Democratic Party.

Read the entire article here.

I was one of many democrats stupid enough to believe that a vote for Nader was a vote for Bush in 2000, but, as I have said before, Gore lost because of Gore. This time around, articles like the above, coupled with the fact that Nader is knowingly accepting help from Republicans and their supporters, you can't help but wonder why anyone with a brain would vote for Nader.

I know progressives who are very well aware that Nader takes votes away from Kerry, not Bush, and, they've admitted knowing this fact. I can't help but wonder how intelligent they can be knowing that they are playing right into the Republican's hands. It just makes me believe that not only are they idealistic, but, just plain stupid.

I have to get going, got a debate to watch and candles to make.

God has spoken! Seriously.....

God has spoken and doesn't want you to vote for Bush.

Don't believe me.

Go here and decide.

If everyone in the world could vote for the U.S. President....

Click here to put in your vote.

Don't forget to vote for real Nov. 2nd.

As of 2pm CST, Kerry would be winning by a landslide. This is before the debates. Proof that the more time you look on the web, the better educated you'll be going into the polls on Nov.2nd.

We're going to the carnival, going to the carnival........

So, I'll be headed over to G's place to watch the debates tonight, all the while making candles. This stupid flu/cold is on the tail end already, but, I'm still congested like there's no tomorrow. It felt good to be able to sleep in today. I needed it.

So, with the debates hours away, the FMA is up for a vote in the House, and, not one single news outlet is carrying the story. Yeah, we have such a liberal press. Again, fucking cowards.

Right.

So, it looks like EMN and CABN will be on the protest tip again. I won't say where just yet, due to the fact that a press release hasn't been issued yet.

Here's a little humor for the day;

Your Porn Star Name is Hero Laramie

Your Blues Singer Name is Tired Roosevelt

Your Punk Rock Band is called the Pretenious Trees

Your name as an extra in "Star Wars" is Crapulence the Spoon Spoon

Courtesy of davezilla.com

My Star Wars name is Isabe Ilichi, Lirford of Diprolene

find yours here

Later, gators.

This will be a short post.

I'm tired, and, it's because of the flu. Whatever my mom had several days ago, she gave it to me. I came home early from work tonight, and, I won't be in tomorrow either. Ick.

I will be making candles for the Matthew Shepherd March on the 2nd. If you can make it, it will start at 8pm at the corner of Roscoe & Halsted. The 2nd is Saturday.

The House is pulling a sneak attack and is voting on the FMA tomorrow; despite the fact that it did not pass the Senate. Sucks ass. It probably doesn't have enough votes to pass, but, I know damn well that the Republicans are doing this as a desperation move. They know that Bush will lose the debates, and, want to shift the focus.

It didn't work for the Senate, it won't work in the House. Stupid people making stupid decisions.

Not one major news outlet is picking up the Maya Keyes story. So much for the liberal press.

Fucking Cowards.

I'm out of here. I'll have something more tangible tomorrow, I'm sure.

Today, at Band Camp.......

Today has been really fucking strange. Really really fucking strange.

I am getting ready for work, and, my brother's girlfriend calls me on my cell. Simply put, it turns out that they are having problems, and, I explain to her why he is acting the way he is. I won't get into details unless requested to.

I get to work, and, discover that everything looks like shit and nothing is in place. NOTHING. Not product not people, nothing.

As the evening winds down, between phone tag and dealing with asshole supervisors from other departments who think they're important, and finally the realization that I am in fact sick, something humorous happened.

One of the guys in the department discovers a CD that is....well, just plain shocking.

I'm sure you've all seen the covers of Rap CDs; either it's self glorification of the artist, or, there's either one chick or a bunch of chicks in thongs shaking their asses at the camera. But, this one takes the cake.

At first glance, you see this woman, ass towards the camera, bent over. No big deal, right?

If you look a little harder, you realize that you can see her shaved puss directed towards the camera, lips revealed in all of their glory.

Or so you think.

If you look just a little harder after that, you realize that what you are staring at isn't her puss, but, a the folds of the flesh colored body suit between her legs.

Yeah, by the end of the night, I received a "special request" from coporate to remove this title from our shelves.

Here is the cover. You decide.

So, here's the wrap-up.

Keyes, being the whorish media mongering slut that he is, didn't say a damn thing. Not one single fuckin thing about his daughter.

Here's the link.

Kinda fucked up when the conservative press takes up what could be a liberal "smack in the face" to one of it's candidates.

None the less, the interesting point that grabbed me was this;

"But as Keyes left the Southside township meeting exiting directly behind the podium, he was uncharacteristically resistant to media questions as he quickly slid into the passenger front seat of his white Lincoln Continental with his daughter Maya in the back seat. Neither of the two chose to respond to questions being raised "all over the internet" one reporter said, about Keyes' daughter."

Now, I just want to say that when I was ever in the back seat of my mom's Cadillac (when she had hers), that was never a good place to be. It meant that I was either in deep shit, or, we just didn't want to talk to each other or be near each other.

Being in the back seat is never a good thing, unless you have someone else back there with you. Back seat positioning is a symbol of punishment, shame or disgust. If Keyes was so proud of his daughter, he would have climbed into the back seat with her and put his arm around her.

Keyes is disgusted with his daughter. He is ashamed and disgusted with her and of her.

Punk-ass chump. This is what God has dumped into your lap. This is what God does when you choose to hate an entire class of people for material gain, even at the expense of your own child.

Cheney, Keyes, Cheney, Keyes, Cheney, Keyes........

If the American public doesn't see what's wrong with the fact that there are parents who are willing to sell out their children for a fucking job, then morals in our country really have gone to shit, and, definitely in the favor of Republican scum. So much for being a party of the family. Assholes.

Now I must get ready for work, and, all the while, mull over in my head the fact that my brother and his girlfriend are fighting (since I just had to deal with a half hour phone call from her). Turns out his insecurities from his marriage are going against the fact that his very expensive set of tools is missing and he thinks she stole them.

This and the incessant pounding and drilling from the second floor apartment (my new landlord is remodeling the apartment before he moves in) will make for an interesting day. I want to scream, but, my throat is too fucking sore. My voice box got it's fill at the Stephen Bennett protest the other day. Go here for the story. Glenn is the same guy I mention here in this blog. If you watched channel 7 Sunday night, you would have received the dubious pleasure of watching him get arrested. Glenn is a little too "activist" even for me. But, not gonna change the guy, so, I go with the flow.

Seacrest Out!!!!

Yeah Baby!!!!!!!

Hot on the trail of the story of the day;

Rumor has been flying around, but, here's the real deal.

Maya Keyes, Alan Keyes' daughter, just might be gay.

A girl-kissin', pussy lickin' dyke.

I'll let you decide.

Go here and enjoy!

My wish list for you, my best friend.....

I hope that it does truly work out for you two this time
For as much as I will miss you, I hope that you don't have to move back
I hope that you two can live together until the end of your days
I hope that for once in your life, you can be truly happy
I hope that you find a better paying job
I hope that you can fill your apartment with furniture that you want, not what you need
I hope that you can finally have kids
I hope that you can finally be secure about yourself
I hope that this change is best for you
I hope that you realize that you must love yourself before you can love someone else
I hope that she helps you to do this
I hope that she realizes that she works to live, not lives to work
I hope that she will finally cherish you
I hope that she will appreciate the risk you're taking
I hope that she will love you for it all the more

But more importantly.....

I hope that everybody else is wrong......

I hope it works...

I will love you forever, my dear sweet friend

I hope that the next time we meet, it will be with a smile in your eyes and a spring in your step......

But, if it doesn't work out......

I hope that you know that you will always have a home to come to and friends who will be waiting.....

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best that the fates can give you.......

Good luck, Deb.

Good luck.

Now, excuse me while I get some sleep so that I can go and make that asshole's (Stephen Bennett) visit to Oak Park as miserable as possible. Punk-ass chump. God measures feather for feather, lead for lead; even yours, asshole, even yours.

I can't write too much right now, but, I just wanted to drop a note and say that the fundraiser at Coobah's was wonderful. Awesome.

Even Deb Mell was there, and, was auctioned off to the highest bidder, and got the most money out of all those brave souls who were auctioned off. All in all, a great time. I was actually flattered when several women asked me if I was up for auction. I wasn't, but, I was still flattered.

Tonight, I just wanted to drop this note. I have to go and get ready because D is picking me up, and, we're off to a cheap dinner (since I didn't get my inventory bonus) and later off to Temp's.

This will be the last time I see D. For a while.

For as overjoyed as I am about the success of the fundraiser, my heart is sinking. At a time when I must be most brave. Tomorrow I must face a monster, and, what could ultimately be the either the cementing of my belief in God or the collapse of it. You never know how strong something is until you try to break it.

One last item. I warned you all some time ago that I am a bit of a perv; that never went away. If you have a few moments, go and read Steve's blog and drop him a line. His mother just passed away, and, if you read his blog back far enough, you'll learn that he and his mom weren't on the best of terms. And that's an understatement.

I will write more what will probably be Sunday morning.

Have a good night. God Bless.

But he's Rastafarian now....

So, myself, G and B got to the House of Blues first. We were waiting for the rest of the group, discovering that the media had gathered there. Channels 2, 5, 7, 9, and 32 along with the Trib, Sun-Times and WBBM radio were also there. It sucked that I was the only one wearing an EMN shirt; everybody else was wearing their CABN shirts.

It was good to talk to the media and get the purpose of our protest out in the open. Not only that, but, we were able to talk to many people that were going to go into the HOB, and, were able to change their minds about going in.

The Cappleton concert was receiving so much bad press that by this point about 10% of the venue's capacity was actually sold. They were giving out free tickets an hour before showtime. It was awesome to know that. As the poor suckers who did pay for their tickets began to arrive for the Cappleton's performance, we chanted "Don't go in"! They went in anyway, but, we got our point across.

One thing that really bothered me (and still does) is this; as I helped put signs together, there was a middle-aged woman, about 5'1" or 5'2", roundish kind of fat, that was watching us. I noticed her and she something to me; "He's rastafarian now. He's not like that anymore. He gave that up a long time ago."

This fat, ugly, old ignorant bitch had the nerve to be defending this guy? I had to consciously stop myself from punching her in the face.

I looked at her and said "If Hitler became a Jew, do you think that would have made the crimes of WWII okay?"

I continued to look at her with a "Well, what do you have to say to that?" kind of look, and, she walked away, shaking her head.

I guess it's easy to forgive a crime when it hasn't directly affected you. I guess it's easy to simply over look hate speech when it's not directed at you. It's easy to be ignorant.

Just because someone has decided to change themselves publicly does not makes amends for the crimes of their past. When has Cappleton or any other reggae singer come out and apologized for this culture of murder and hate they've created? Nope. I haven't heard a single thing; have you?

The only way that these people will understand that hate doesn't belong here in the lucrative US music market is if they are hit in the wallet. Beenie Man learned the hard way by having his entire tour cancelled on his ass. Cappleton is also booked at the HOB in both New Orleans and West Hollywood.

Let's see how many tickets you sell now, hatemonger.

Don't even get me started on Cat Stevens.......

The EMN fundraiser is tonight at Coobah. 8pm til about 2am. I'll be there til about midnight or so. There will be great food, a DJ, and a bachelor/bachelorette auction. Fun stuff, fun stuff.

I now have emails I must send off, wood floors to swiffer and mop, a haircut to get and hopefully find some new pants (cheap) to wear tonight. This will involve a visit to Old Navy. Fun stuff.

Later, gators!

Okay, uber shit-TAY update timing, but, let's go.

So, as of Monday evening, I am the chairperson of EMN! Fuckin' sweet, I say.

Thursday evening, I will be in front of the House of Blues protesting the Cappleton concert. Cappleton, like Beenie Man, calls for the burning and cutting (think "slice and dice") of gays and lesbians. After repeated ( and I mean repeated) attempts to have not only let our concerns aired along with having the concert cancelled, it is still scheduled to go on.

Unfortunately, the House of Blues management has not returned any phone calls, any emails (of which there were several hundred that I know of) and has had the audacity to stand up members of CABN on two separate occasions when meetings were arranged with the management of the venue. To boot, the meetings were arranged with the consent and participation of the management team.

Today, an email was posted on the EMN listserv stating that Budweiser wanted it's name removed from any remaining tickets sold for the event and does not want it's name associated with this artist in any way shape or form. Which means that if there are any "Bud Light" signs anywhere in the place, they'll have to come down in time for the concert. Fun stuff.

We will have our fundraiser on Friday night. There will be a bachelor/bachelorette auction, along with a DJ, as well as auctions for other items and just good food there. There will be a $5 door cover, with an optional $10 door cover that includes a white ribbon and for a $20 "benefactor" donation which will include an EMN! t-shirt.

It's planned to go from 8pm til about 2am. If I am to be there the entire time, I'll have about 4 hours sleep before my shift begins Saturday morning at 8am. Ick.

Other than that, I've been working and working. And working. I have a weird shift today; from 3pm til close. More ick.

The only good thing is that I will be somewhat close to 36 hours this week. The only bad thing is that I will be having dinner with my best friend D Saturday, and, it will probably the last time I see her before she leaves. I will be in bad shape, I know. More more ick.

The only good thing thing is that I will have to work Sunday, coupled with the protest in Oak Park. It will keep my mind off of all this stuff, at least until I get home.

It's going to be very hard indeed. Even more so for D. She's moving to someplace with no friends and no allies. All she'll have is her gf. It looks like control to me, but, it's not my life, so, I can only support D at this point, since she's made up her mind. But something keeps telling me that it's not going to work, that it's just not what it seems. I hope I'm wrong. Seriously.

Oh, and, one little tidbit that I just recalled.

When we were in front of Sidetracks with our ribbon campaign, some fat ugly fag wearing a t-shirt and jeans ensemble that went out of style five years ago along with a pair of 70's big plastic frame sunglasses accused us of being "fascists".

Fascist, huh? What, you think that by throwing around big fancy words that you'll come off as being educated? You only make yourself sound dumber than you already are.

"Fascist" refers to ring wing ideals, such as the ones that the Republican party embraced at their convention in NYC. They are fascists.

Stupid people should not be allowed access to such words without the proper education. There should be a license for it or something. Maybe a shock collar that goes off only when they use words that are beyond their highest standard education. I can only dream.

Ralph Nader is a puppet......

That's right folks, you read it here. Ralph Nader is a puppet of the Republican party. He may as well be a Republican.
Why am I saying this you may ask?
Because he recently won the right to be on the ticket in Florida. His legal fight was funded by donations from and attorneys who support the Republican party. Nader is a fucking sell-out. Anyone who goes to the enemy to get the job done is the enemy as far I am concerned.

To every Socialist who supports him I say this;

Ha! Ha! Dumbasses! You are supporting the very institution that you are trying to fight.

Sleep on that.

I wish to clarify something. I am not one of those dumbass Democrats who believed that Gore lost in 2000 because of Nader; Nader received less than 2 million popular votes and not one single electoral vote. Gore lost because of Gore. Gore did not challenge the Florida recount; he did not question why "uniformed" men drove into poor minority neighborhoods in successful attempts to shoo away Gore votes. Gore did not even plan for it.

Gore lost because of Gore. That's it.

Nader ran a good clean campaign with a huge grassroots foundation. I would even dare say that Nader showed America the importance of grass roots political movements. Unfortunately, he also taught the Republicans and their sick, twisted minions how to do it as well, which is why so much anti-gay legislation is passing at the state level.

But now Nader is taking the low road. He has chosen to accept scraps from those who seek to merely use him as a puppet for their own devices. What happened to his "loyal" base? They woke up to see the damage that they had done to our once proud nation. They saw that their narrow-minded goal of receiving a certain % of the popular vote for a mere $20 million has done damage the likes of which they hadn't foreseen.

How many people do you know that voted for Nader in 2000 are voting for him again now? I don't know of any. The only reason people are voting for him now is that they see him as an "alternative" to the current two party system. I would agree with that deduction if he wasn't accepting help and aid from the Republicans.

It just makes me sick to my stomach.

Now that I have that off of my chest, I'm going to watch the Emmys; I have to try to relax mentally, or I won't be able to sleep tonight. Ick.

Last bastion of Free Speech

That's right people, you're reading this right. This is the last realm of free speech in this nation. The press has successfully been intimated by Bush and his SS Army aka the Secret Service. The "liberal" free press.

No one is hearing about how Kerry is attacking Bush with points of intelligence and truth.
As I type this, no one is talking about the near $140 billion price of the "war" in Iraq.
No one is talking about how Bush's $300 billion dollar Medicare "reform" is actually going to cost us upwards of $600 billion.
No one is talking about how Lynne Gobbell got fired from her job because she had a Kerry sticker on her car while her boss is an avid Bush supporter and shoves his support down the throats of his employees.
No one is talking about how Sue Niederer got abused and dragged away by Bush's SS Core (what we call the Secret Service) from a speech that Laura Bush was giving for wearing t-shirt that read "President Bush You Killed My Son" even though Sue paid for her ticket to be there.
No one is hearing about how Bush is outright lying to small business owners when he tells them that Kerry will raise taxes on them when Kerry has clearly stated that he would only raise taxes for the upper 2% wealthiest of our nation.

No one is hearing about this because for the first time in the history of our nation, our very own President has the press in fear. Fear, people.

Blogs are the last bastion of truth we have. The reason why voters from 18-29 are 2:1 for Kerry; they have pcs, cell phones, PDAs; they have technology, they do not just rely on the news channel to tell them the truth.

I will say what few others are saying, and, what will hopefully be on the lips of every person who goes to vote Nov. 2nd. Bush is waging a jihad. He is waging a jihad against the Muslim World as we know it. He is at "war" with nations that do not believe or embrace democracy. With democracy comes the chance for capitalism. Iraq is an oil-rich nation, with oil-rich nations neighboring. Bush's pursuit is not against terrorism, but, for his own pocket, and, the pockets of a few rich, close friends.

The real reason why Hussein did not want UN inspectors in his country is simple; the entire world would have found out that he had no WMDs. None at all. We would have discovered that due to the heavy embargos on his nation and his own greed, he could not maintain a WMD program. His nation was defenseless, and he knew it.

If you think that Bush is confident that he will win Nov 2nd. check this out. This man wants people to vote now so that as Iraq unravels, he will already have the votes he needs to get re-elected. Not enough you say? Several days ago, news outlets were reporting that Kerry was asking the government how to go about raising funds to pay for a recount. Turns out that Bush made sure that he could accept money from big business as well as private contributors in 2000, then as soon as he took office, "reformed" the laws so that big business couldn't contribute to such funds anymore. Now all of the donations made to such funds must all be from private contributors. Oh, how convenient Mr President.

Hopefully, this spreads far and wide. Don't just rely on me. Look for other blogs to read; laugh at the lies that the Pro-Bush blogs tell, see the truth that the anti-Bush blogs type.

All of what I've said is my opinion, but, there is truth that it's based on. Bush has sold out the American people, thinking that we are so stupid that we will believe his lies. There are those who believe them; it is of course, their own choice. Even the other nations want Bush out of office. People who don't know what Kerry stands for wants him for President.

Wow, that should be a wake-up call for everyone.

Excuse me while you go fuck yourself....

Don't believe the hype, kiddies. Don't believe it.

Gallup Organization posted the results of their latest poll earlier today, and, it stated that Bush had a 13 point lead over Kerry.

Yeah, whoopee; just because you tell me that the sky is falling doesn't mean I'm going to believe you. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

The Gallup Organization made a series of phone calls to just over 1,000 people, with a 3 to 5% margin of error.

When did 1,000 people become a "true" sample population? Where do these 1,000 people live, and, when were they called?

Important questions that were not answered.

"Where" is important because if you called Chicago, Kerry would have an overwhelming point spread over Bush, but, if you call southern Illinois, around Quincy, Bush would have the point spread in his favor.

"When" is even more important because the majority of people under the age of 50 are working or in school until about 6pm or so. 50 is the target age for the civil issue of gay marriage; people under 50 think it's a civil rights issue, people over 50 think it's a religious issue.

So, yeah, now you are beginning to see why this is hype, not reality.

Don't believe me still? Check this out.

Have you received a call on your cell asking you how you are going to vote? I haven't.

Younger voters favor Kerry over Bush 2:1. This is the reality that you are not reading about.

Don't believe the hype.

More to come.

I'm not one to judge, but.......

There is a new chick in our group. Her name is SM. This woman gives me a vibe that is freaky. Not good freaky, but bad freaky. To boot, she can't keep her story straight, despite the fact she is.

She saw the group at Market Days, and, has prided herself on telling the same story over and over again. Emphasis on the "story".

It goes like this; a couple of days before she showed up at her first meeting, she went to put up a sign near Alan Keyes' office on Diversey. A Keyes' supporter came out to yell at her about the sign (despite the fact that the landlord said it was okay to put them there) and it came a "finger in one face and a shove from the other" event, with her doing the shoving, then the added running.

I've heard this story at least three times myself. I could repeat it for her.

There's more. She won't shut up. She has a big mouth, along with the annoying habit of smacking the other person's arm while saying "shut up!". She invites herself over.

While I was in BeatNik's buying several watches and a leather wrist band, she asked me what I was doing afterwards. I, me, moi. I told her that I was headed over to Glenn's place after our pathetic attempt at white ribbons and petitioning. I, I, I, me, me, me. ME!

"Oh, so, we're headed over to Glenn's place after this?"

Where did you see a "we" in there? Where the fuck is the "we"? I don't remember saying a "we". I don't remember typing a "we". Where is the "we"?!?!?!?!?!?!

You pull shit like that and even I think you're pathetic. Seriously. Pathetic.

Speaking of straight, back to her story.

She has a gay brother. That's the only "truth" I know. Said gay brother is either 24 or 26, HIV+ or not, single or partnered, blond or bald, employed or unemployed, and has a roommate or doesn't have a roommate. Getting the picture. The gay brother may not exist.

I understand that this chick still lives with her mom; I can sympathize, my mom is my roommate for fuck's sake. But having an overactive imagination is not going to compensate for not having a life. I know, I've tried and failed. Miserably. Back when I was a teenager!

She's older than me and still hasn't dropped this habit?

Use your imagination for your benefit, honey. Go here. Seriously; it will kill off some of the obviously extensive amount of energy you've got going there. Go. NOW!

Other than that, this has been the day from hell. My boss is sick and gave me whatever the hell he has, which made me come home and pass out on my bed. I spent nearly half my shift at work on the john, and, my boss is in a Shi-TAY mood. Seems like somebody's finally riding his ass about the fact that he's never in the department. Like a prize horse in the Triple Crown. How does that feel?

I couldn't even go to the organizing committee meeting today to announce my intent of becoming the new "Chairperson". Turns out that we need a Treasurer and a Chairperson to file for PAC or a tax free donation organization status. Several people are pushing for me, the people who actually do shit for and with the organization. Fun stuff. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I just hope tomorrow will be a better day all around. I just need sleep. Rest. I need dreams to once again fill my head as they used to every night. I miss my dreams, even if they were nightmares. My dreams meant that something was going on in my head, that I was thinking and not mentally stagnant.

I feel as if I had stopped absorbing, my brain shutting down to any new input. I felt like a zombie, thinking about what I needed to do and get by, but nothing else.

I just something new on my plate; the cuisine is getting old.

With blues before sunrise going on NPR and a glass of wine in my hand, I begin.

Still sucking at the everyday post gig, I know. I've been busy. Today was catch-up on sleep, as well as a visit from D. Turns out she is leaving at the end of the month, which will leave a big hole in my close space.

I am the kind of woman who is friendly to everyone, but, I have no real friends. It's a trait that I've inherited from my parents.

When I was younger, we were always moving. Not out of town, but, you find that Chicago is just a big enough city to lose contact with friends.

My parents first lived in Wrigleyville, just as it was getting to be very expensive. With me and my brothers born a little over a year apart, it was taxing on my father's pay to keep living there. So, for mother's day 1976, my dad bought presented our first house to my mom. We lived there until I was 6. My dad's reason for moving; the "niggers" moved in and were ruining the neighborhood.

In 1979, we found ourselves moving into what is now Chicago's "Antique Row". We owned a building right on Belmont, then my parents purchased another property a block and a half over, on a side street. I lived there until 5 years ago, when my mom and I made our move to Skokie.

As a child, I was moved to three different grade schools. This makes it hard to find and keep friends. As I moved from one school to another, I would invite friends from both schools over to birthday parties and such, only to find that the kids didn't "mix" well. Very hard to a child that was going through move after move, then her parent's subsequent divorce and the nastiness that follows.

I could never really attach myself to multiple individuals as a friend, and, have spent my life clinging to one special person while the rest of my circle of friends constantly changed. I am lousy at keeping touch. It's a defense mechanism that I'm not sure how to reverse, let alone change.

Now, with D leaving my life, I'm left with nothing and no one. At least that's how I feel.

It scares me to let someone in that far and having to let go of them. It shuts a part of me down that right now I don't want shut down. I don't like admitting to other people that I need help, or, that I even need another person. I want to be the rock, the solidity of everyone's life while keeping mine guarded.

People who I have let in in the past have either left or mocked the very things I told them in confidence. I want to be the one in control. I want to be the one who hurts other people; I don't want to be hurt. I want that control. I'm selfish like that, I know.

It's selfish and stupid. It shows my true lack of confidence. I'm everybody's friend, but, they are not mine. I'm afraid to let one person in, let alone several.

Maybe it's the people I've chosen to let in, maybe it's baggage from my past; I don't know.

All that I know is that I must be the one who wants the change and I want it, but, how do I walk that path? Where is it? I've never seen it.

Maybe I'm thinking about it too hard. Maybe it's right in front of me and I can't see it. Maybe my desperation comes off and turns others off to me. There are many "maybe"s that I constantly toss in my head. My therapist says I suffer from G.A.D., but, a not so severe type. I've told her that I don't want to go on meds; I know that the stuff that's not right in my head can be fixed with time, acknowledgment and work. I think that maybe I need to go back to weekly sessions, or, I just need to type more in this thing.

This past week, I've either been too tired or too busy to give this thing the time it needs. I need to give it more time because I need it. It's cleansing and therapeutic. It also didn't help that I was installing shit and uninstalling shit and running shit in safe mode. I've spent hours dealing with this thing. Ick.

I still have 7 more pounds to lose, then, I'll be back down to my high school weight. I was 145 when I graduated, but, I was also about 4 inches shorter. I can get into a size 14 right now, but, I want to get into a size 12 by fall. That would be sweet, and, great fodder for my "give me gift certificates for Christmas" cause.

I know this shit is all random, but, this is what happens when you've had four glasses of wine on an empty stomach. I need to go now, since I have to be at work at 8:30. More ick.

I haven't written in this thing since Sunday. Bad, bad, Latin. I suck.

Moving on.

Well, EMN had the first bi-weekly meeting on Monday. The library where we meet was closed for Labor Day, so, a newer member (forgot her name already) donated her apartment to us for a few hours.

The meeting went well; several people got to speak to their experience in NYC during the RNC. One of our members got arrested during a "kiss in" staged by Queer Fist. As expected, the group that was there did nothing except be there. The NYC police actually waited until there was a group of about 250 and began arresting people. WTF?

They didn't just arrest people, they drove their mopeds up on the sidewalk and into the crowd, they gave no warning to disperse. They just simply said "Get down on the ground, we have pepper spray." Wow, did Miranda disappear while Bush was in town? I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

You think that's bad? Yeah, it gets worse. Seems like the Republicans train their boys to treat women like shit early. Courtesy of the boys at QW, check it out. Nothing more manly than kicking a woman when she's being held down. Too bad the youngster hasn't taken the "Lies and Denial" courses yet, otherwise he would have been able to worm his way out of it, Republican style. Sadder still is the fact that the only people trying to stop him were the secret service guys. Yeah, trying.

Another story here that you may not have caught is the story of the Dyer brothers, who live in a suburb of Chicago. They visited NYC during the RNC to see all the hub-bub. They witnessed secret service agents punching a female protestor in the face, and, taped it on their handy cam. They turned around and had walked a few blocks down the street when they were tackled from behind and arrested. They had done nothing, and, were not told to walk away from the scene; they had moved of their own volition. Because they taped what could have possibly been excessive force, they were arrested. Their camera was seized, and, they were one of the hundreds that were released under court order several days later. You think the tape was in the camera? I don't think so.

My two cents. Do with it what you will. I'm tired and I'm off to bed. I've spent the last four hours installing, uninstalling and reinstalling software to get rid of viruses and adware on my pc. Turns out I had over 1,000 files that had been corrupted and up to ten variations of the same virus. Along with a Trojan horse and a transponder, I cleaned up my pc hardcore. I haven't had to reinstall my OS, yet. I hope I don't have to. Ugh.

Goodnight kiddies.

After talking with one of my co-workers at work today, I'm not the only one that believes that Bush is out of his fucking mind. Or at least, that Bush doesn't believe that he's being recorded, one or the other.

So, yeah. We went on and on for two hours about his speech. We were especially humored by his comments about the economy. All these new jobs that he created and the economy being stronger than ever. Really, Mr. President? My favorite statement; Bush inherited the recession from Clinton.

Wow, this jackass does live on his own planet. One that's obviously not in our solar system. Or galaxy.

If I ever try to sit down and figure out this idiot, I think that my I.Q. would drop to a point lower than his. I'd have to be that stupid to even begin to comprehend his madness. What is even scarier is the fact that the delegates were in Madison Square Garden, eating it all up. These people, despite the obvious contrary, chose to believe this man, his lies. It took me some time to understand, and, I may be interpreted as a racist as I say this, but, that entire audience couldn't be more white if it tried. White, elderly and wealthy. There were barely any minorities represented, both in the audience and on the list of speakers. The audience was so white, I almost expected the convention to begin with a chant of "Sieg Heil! Seig Heil! Seig Heil!"

I have nothing against white people, hell, my mom is white. But, c'mon, are you all really that stupid? Or do you Bush-supporting red-necks think that Hispanics and African Americans are unworthy of sitting with you? How can you go through life not wanting to be including of other people besides your own? I guess it's just how you're raised.

I am not saying that whites in general are racist. They are not. While I was at Sidetracks tonight, I saw a lot of interracial couples. The white race has made extensive strives to bridge and repair the bonds with other races. It's just those pocketful of monkeys that blow it for the rest. Just like the pocketful of monkeys that blow it for all the races.

I digress. Bush is stupid and America needs to fire his ass. If the rambling ignorance of his speech wasn't enough, I don't know what ever will be.

My greatest concern is the fact that none of the major media outlets have even covered the radical platform of the party. I have heard nothing. I have seen nothing. You would think that it would be all over the place, but, it's not. Is everyone scared of this man? Why?

Enough.

The fund-raiser at Sidetracks went very well. We got many chances to get our name out there, and, to get some more funds. Everybody who was there made the white ribbons from their own pocket, including me. $6 isn't much for 100+ ribbons, it's just the time. I spent two hours making them, and, at the same time, learning where to cut the stuff. Better that I learned with one time than with four or five. Go anal-retentiveness!

It just amazed me how many people walked past who either rolled their eyes or said "I don't believe in it". Yeah, just because you don't believe in it for yourself doesn't mean that you shouldn't believe in it for someone else. Just because you don't believe in it for yourself now doesn't mean that you won't five years down the road. Just because you don't believe in what I'm fighting for doesn't mean that you should disrespect me with your posture, just say that you're not interested.

Well, then again, if people had respect for each other, we wouldn't be in half the messes we are now, now would we?

I was personally humored by all of the fag hags. Too funny.

Before I forget, one last story. As I was walking to the bus stop, a kid walked past and glanced back at me, well, glancing back at my bag. I went on and sat down at the stop. Same kid walked past, looking at my bag again. One last time he came back, this time with a friend. This time I gave him a look that clearly stated "I know you're watching me punk-ass; keep walking". I watched him and his buddy walk past me, down the street and out of my sight.

If you're gonna steal from me, don't make it so obvious, dumbass. Dumbfuck. By the time you walked past me the third time, I knew your height, your weight, your clothes, that birth mark on the side of your face and the scar on the back of your neck that looks like a burn mark.

Silly little boy.

I'm done for now.

Something to think about.

I'm not one for radical conspiracy theories or crazy talk, but, this is scary.

What if the test itself was wrong?

What if there was someone out to "get" this guy?

What if someone simply heard this "sample number" came from a gay guy and assumed it was positive?

Even more scary, what if this guy was in fact HIV+, then he overcame it? What if he cured himself of it? What if a cure was written into his genetic code?

What if we never know the real truth?

Scary.

In today's local news;

Vice President Dick Cheney isn't the only one to feel the sting of Alan Keyes' comments that homosexuals including his daughter Mary are "selfish hedonists." Keyes, Illinois' Republican U.S. Senate candidate, drew criticism Thursday from Gov. Blagojevich, whose sister-in-law Deborah Mell is a lesbian.

"I think his position on homosexuality and the lives of homosexuals is ridiculous and archaic and mean-spirited," Blagojevich said after addressing the Illinois AFL-CIO Convention. "He's got his feet in the 13th century."

Keyes has been standing behind his comments that gay people engage in "self-centered, self-fulfilling selfish" relationships that seek "to use the organs intended for procreation for purposes of pleasure." His comments angered many in the Illinois delegation at the Republican National Convention in New York City. Keyes came back to Illinois on Thursday to campaign.

Blagojevich said Keyes was free to express his views, which he believes only will bolster the Democratic Party's U.S. Senate nominee, state Sen. Barack Obama.

"It's unfortunate he has those views, but it's a free country, and he's free to express them, and all of us are free to vote against him," he said. "I think people are smart enough to be able to sift through it themselves and make their decision, and Barack Obama will win a sweeping victory in November."

Excuse me, Governor Blagojevich, there's a much shorter version of that "homosexuals" word; it's called "gay". G-A-Y. Say it with me now,

"gay"

Not so hard when you get used to it, is it?

Anyway, I got to sleep in majorly late today. I didn't get out of bed until noon. Ah, what a beautiful thing days off are, especially when you have nothing to do. Well, I do have some things to do, but, several of them will have to wait until my mom gets back with the car.

I was working on our backyard yesterday, since my landlady left a huge fucking disaster to clean up. Last month, my neighbor on the 1st floor charged our landlady a "fee" for clearing some of the weeds from the backyard. Well, yesterday, my landlady stopped by and cleaned up most of the dead brush and mowed the front and back lawns. She pulled a couple of small bushes as well, but, left a mess in the wake.

I came home to find dirt piled from the front sidewalk all the way to the back gate. It took me well over half an hour to sweep all of it up. She missed the three now decaying bags of lawn garbage that she left behind several years ago. I pulled that out too. I ended up trimming the bushes that have grown along the side of the building; you couldn't see to the back gate if you stood at the entrance of the gangway because of all of the brush, now you can.

I also pulled up most of the dead plants and chopped down a lot of the overgrowth (that's being nice) from the other bushes in the yard. Today I'm going to work on the front yard, since my landlady thinks it's okay to have beer bottles in the front yard and old covers for plastic cups just lying there. I don't go through the front, otherwise I would have cleaned it up myself a while ago.

Tomorrow I will resume the part-time job hunt. The GM of my store came up to me mentioning the senior spot again, you know, the one that I didn't get because the current senior didn't step up. The GM thinks that he's going to step up now, which he won't, which means I'm not going anywhere.

If, per chance I get it, I'll be asking for a pay raise with it as well. No pay raise, I stay where I am now. Simple. Straight.

Now, I'm off to finally take a shower and get the rest of the yardwork done. I love days off where I have nothing to do.

After tonight's speech, I am thoroughly convinced that Bush does not live on this planet, or, at least in this country. I think he's gone and used tax payer money to build himself a magical island where whatever he thinks is the truth.

After hearing lines like "economy back on it's feet" and the never-ending crap about how free the Afghanis and Iraqis are, I realize that this man has no clue what is really going on in the world.

Bush talks about how we need to take steps to win the war on terror, you know, the one just a few days ago he said we weren't gonna win, and, how we need to do this as a member of the world community.

Hey, genius, we've pissed off just about every nation on this planet. How the hell are we going to win this "war" when we have no allies?!?!

Stupid non-sensical Bush logic.

Bush stated how the economy is back on its feet and that new jobs have been created. He talked about he wants to fund more resources to get our youth and those who are unemployed retrained for the "new" workforce, where they can get better paying jobs.

Oh, you mean the ones that keep getting outsourced by the companies you give tax breaks to for doing so.

Funny how all these "new jobs" have been created, and, I still can't find a part-time job to supplement my income. Where are these jobs Mr. President? Why can't I find one? I have a college degree, I have experience managing a multi-million dollar business, and, I'm still stuck in the same place I was four years ago. Oh, with the exception of a bankruptcy on my credit report. One of the record millions of private bankruptcies that were filed during your presidency. So far.

Yeah, I had to turn the TV off several times for fear of violently regurgitating the Gouda cheese on rye cocktail bread that I made for myself. Don't go there, my mom's bf bought that stuff; neither one of us has the money to buy that stuff constantly, or, even to splurge.

To boot, your party doesn't even have the courage to present it's true platform publicly. Cowards. Oh, what? Don't you think that your party's stances on abortion, gay rights and women's lib will go over well with Americans? Everybody should agree that abortions should be banned by constitutional amendment. They should also agree that gay sex should be banned by law as well. We gay people are so evil. So are women, aren't they? We are all to blame for single parent homes, poverty, crime, drug problems. You blame us for the evil things like equality, women's lib, acceptance of homosexuals and female bosses; those things are soo sick.

Like I said, if we suck so much, take us out back and shoot us all. Let's see how long you little punk-asses last.

It's always funny to watch a political party collapse within itself. The Republican party is trying desperately to give off a moderate image, while idiots like Alan Keyes (anti-gay/ African American women killer) keep blowing it. Dick Cheney (Mr. I'm too chicken to stand up for my daughter; I'll let you shit on her instead) blew it too. They can't send a uniform message or keep to one. People will see this eventually, and, they will see that embracing radicalism will make any party collapse.

It's even more fun when in a 24 hour period, they go from touting someone to turning on them. That's right folks, I'm talking about Zell Miller. These people have the nerve to call Kerry "wobbly" and "shifty". I'd rather have Kerry than the Reds back me up. At least Kerry attempts to explain himself. The Republicans simply drop you like a sick habit.

All morning the Republicans were separating themselves from Miller like flies on shit. Apparently, they didn't agree with what Miller said and that Miller was speaking for himself. I distinctly remember watching his speech, and, hearing the words "The Conscience of the Democratic Party". I know that the party spent several weeks touting how a Democrat was going to be speaking at their convention, and, now after he's said his piece, after the dust has settled and the public doesn't like it, now they turn-coat on his ass and leave him high and dry. It has to suck to be Miller right now.

Proof positive that if you bite someone in the ass, you get bitten in the ass right back. For Miller, I'm sure it was much sooner than he thought.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was busy and tired.

Passion of the Christ came out on DVD, and, it was busy at work. Very fuckin' busy. As one guy put it, we sold the bejesus out of Jesus. We had close to 1000 copies at my location alone. 80% were sold the first day, and we'll sell the rest today for sure.

Unfortunately, my boss had to leave early yesterday due to his son having some sort of illness, one that was bad enough for said boss to call in today as well. I worked 10 hour days two days in a row. I fear it may end up being three. Ick. I know I've bitched about not getting enough hours at work, but, working 10 hour days was not the way I had planned on getting them. Oiy.

So, I've been keeping my eye on the RNC. Fascinates me personally. The way that George hasn't been there, and, from what I understand, won't be there to accept the nomination personally. What a punk-ass. Then again, if I was a bumbling idiot who had royally fucked things up in this country, I wouldn't be personally accepting anything either.

I loved how he had his wife talk about what a brave strong man he is, about the party claiming that George is the beacon of light that we need in "these times", how his children were just simply out to "embarrass" their parents.

Oh, yeah. I want George to continue to fuck up this country for another four years. I want him to take away with little rights I have. I want him to continue to give tax breaks to companies that outsource. His "beacon" has run our great country into the fucking ground. Thanks but no thanks, dumbasses, I'll pass.

Oh, and, let's talk about their daughters, shall we. There are single mothers who do a better job of raising five kids than these two monkeys have done with their two daughters. Two daughters who came from a wealthy, well-to-do background, a non-broken home with two parents, both of which are their biological parents, and, they turn out to be a couple of drunken hussies? Two women who have to be publicly ordered by their parents to behave?

I'm sorry, but, I can't swallow a load of bible shit from a couple of people whose own children can't obey two Commandments, you know, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery (in the sense that they can't seem to stay with one guy) and Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father (public drunkenness and resulting arrest). If you two idiots can't raise two daughters (who are usually more obedient than their male counterparts) with what you have, you sure as hell have no business judging other people's families, how ever they feel like making them. Hypocrites.

Then there's Bush's statement of "We won't win the war on terror" to "We will win the war on terror". Make up your friggin' mind, genius! You started this fiasco, at least have the ability to see it through til the end, or, are you just too scared to see the end result? You know, the "all for naught" result.

Interesting little tidbit, folks. You know all those "polls" you hear about on TV, the ones that keep saying that Bush will win the popular vote in November, if you read the fine print you'll notice factoids like (Taken among voters who participated in 2000) or (taken among voters who were registered as of the 2000 election). In the four years since the last election, many kids have grown up, hearing the words of war, seeing the images of murder in the name of "justice" and "protection". They have heard that Bush wishes to reinstate the draft.

The last time those words were said was when I was a senior in high school. I remember eating lunch at the Robinson's Ribs across the street from my H.S. and dropping my mouth in shock. The last Bush said that he did not intend to go to war, but he did. Later on that day, two-thirds of my senior class walked out and began to protest. We walked down Armitage to Clark. We then walked past the Latin School and tried to get it's students to walk out and join us. They were either scared or weren't sympathetic. One of the instructors had called the police. It was too late.

Our group was well over 300 strong. We walked towards the lake and began our trek onto Lake Shore Drive. We marched on L.S.D. from North Ave to Michigan Ave. We held up signs protesting the war and many drivers slowed down and honked to support us.

We were forced to step off and onto the sidewalks on Michigan Ave to continue our protest. It felt good to get the attention of both news crews and both major papers the next day. As a matter of fact, the Times had a pic of us marching down L.S.D. on their front cover. It was sweet.

But what mattered even more to me was when the school had arranged for some of it's staff members to be outside of the front doors to "contain" the protest. As we began to march, the staff members said to us "Go on and protest. You have the right to. We support you. Go on."

Of course, this was never made public; after all, they had a facade to keep. But, never forget, it's always the stories that you don't hear about that surprise you.