Well alrighty then....

My talk with Hoyt happened a bit sooner than expected. It started this morning as I got to work; turns out he was working at my store today, and, will be there tomorrow.

I saw him as I walked to the breakroom to put away my stuff, and, we said hello to each other. I sat and chilled for a few moments, since I was early.

I got myself in "dress code" and punched in. I talked with my manager for a bit, along with the other employees who were there before me, and, decided what product I was going to stock.

After a while, I got ants in my pants, and, walked over to the area where he was working.

"I need to talk to you" I said.

"I don't like how that sounds, but, okay."

I put my hands in my pockets. "Well, I've been thinking about our conversation the other night, and, I've realized something. You and I don't want the same things. You want an open relationship, and, I don't."

"I can tell you've been thinking about this" he said to me, with a bit of worry in his eyes.

"Yeah, I have" I replied. "I want to get this out of the way and done with before this relationship gets too messy. I understand that you want to go out and play the field. That's fine; you don't have alot of life experience. When you began to explain the reasons why you wanted an open relationship and they all began with the names of other women, a red flag went up and it made me realize that maybe I wanted something from you that you either can't or won't give. I'm not going to stay with you and try to 'fix' this because I know there's nothing wrong with you or me or with what you want. I just want you to understand where I'm coming from."

He leaned on a washer. "I do. I figured that you'd be thinking about that. I'm glad that you asked, and, I appreciate those kinds of conversations. I know that you were listening to me, otherwise you wouldn't have thought about what I said, and, I appreciate that as well."

Uncomfortably long pause.

"You've given me lots to think about. We definitely need to talk about this more."

I shook my head in agreement. "Yeah, I didn't think this would be resolved in one talk."

He looked into my eyes and said, "We'll work this out".

I wasn't so sure until I got off work, and, he drove me back to my place.

We sat on the sofa in the living room and talked for almost an hour. Stuff that he was doing at the store already told me that he had made up his mind about "us". Such an instance was when a customer asked me about hybrid SACDs. I ran over to Hoyt all the way in the TV area and asked him about that, since he has a SACD player. I don't think the customer believed me, and, I told Hoyt that the next time I saw him. He said to me "Next time you should tell the guy that your boyfriend has one" and smiled. It didn't sink in until I had walked away.

Given the fact that the other three women he named were literally up in the air, he told me that I was a "controlled risk". I was tangible and sitting in front of him, while the others were either pictures and emails, or, intentions were unknown. It's not very romantic, but, I like things like who I'm fucking and loving as well as who they are fucking and loving kept in black and white.

I let him know during the ride home that I wanted to take a nap. Turns out so did he. We ended up napping together for about an hour. I think I was asleep maybe half that time. I didn't want to miss out on remembering him holding me. We snuggle well together. It feels nice.

We woke up from our nap and just held each other while we talked some more. We both agreed that condoms would be a very wise investment. Nothing personal, I've told him, I just don't want his sperm meeting my ovaries anytime soon.

I won't go on the pill: I made that very clear. There are too many possible side effects, and, it just fucks up your hormones. My hormones are already fucked up enough, sometimes os much that even I hate them. I will have to investigate other birth control options as well. Fun stuff.

Well, we ended up getting dressed just in time, since my mom came home early from work. We cooked dinner then ate, the three of us chatting it up. My mom asked the standard questions; the parent and sibling questions and so on. He left a good impression on my mom.

And that was it; he left because he had laundry to do and dishes to wash, as did I.

It was good that we got to talk. I've never really sat down and talked about stuff like what the other person wants and so on. I'm not used to doing that. It felt good.

Now, to explain all of this to my therapist. Sheesh.

Things that make you go hmmm....

Well, Hoyt and I went to Ford Sheridan last night; apparently, he's an alumni of the youth music program there. I went to the alumni's rehersal for their performance tonight. Turns out he's a cello player, second string. For good reason. Even the first string was mediocre.

I had to stop myself from dropping on the floor and balling up into the fetal position when they played "Lord of the Rings". It was that bad. Really.

But, what was most interesting last night was the ride home from the rehersal.

We got to talking, and, well, hmmm.

I asked him directly what he wanted; an open relationship or a committed one.

He told me that he wanted an open relationship, and, gave me a list of three reasons why. They were all women's names.

Ouch.

I want to clarify something something before I continue; just because I fucked the guy doesn't mean that I love him. Seriously. My pussy and my heart are two totally different body parts.

I've been thinking about all that, and, I can't get angry with the guy. I'm the third woman he's slept with, and, he's only 24.

Point blank, he's at a different stage in his life than I am in mine. I don't think he'll ever grow out of it, but, that's where he is. Can't change that and I can't make him grow up any faster than he wants to.

He wants to go out and play the field, and, I can't blame him; his inexperience and his age compel him to. When I was his age, I used to be the same way; I would juggle two, sometimes three women at the same time. I would have a new gf ever two or three months.

However, I choose not to be a game piece on his field.

It's not what I want, or, quite honestly, what he led me to believe he wants, hence my suspiscion of him being a budding "player".

Now, I just need to sit him down and tell him this face to face.

Hmmm, Thursday sounds good. I can still meet up with friends for dinner that evening and blow off whatever steam is left.

Okay, just a note before I begin. I've just finally been able to sit down to read my email, and, I have received the most disheartening news. The lovely Vendela is being forced to permanently delete her blog as a result of anti-Semitic comments and escalating harassment.

When she attempted to involve the local authorities, they simply laughed her off. I have a hard time believing that a major city would not have an internet crimes division, and, that the anti-Semitic comments would not fall under our "hate speech" law.

The internet is a very powerful tool; it can unite those with common causes (whether they be good or bad), but, the anonymity it can guarantee can also breed cowardice. It is convenient to be bigoted and spiteful behind the curtain of a proxy server or a firewall, but, these individuals lack the courage of their convictions to do these acts of hate in person.

There is one thing that I have learned in my brief time as an activist; bigots cannot move beyond their own circles without being in large numbers. In Marquette Park earlier this year, as I stood with 40 other people to protest the I-have-a-gay-daughter-but-I-still-hate-gays Alan Keyes, there were easily at least 200 people that we were protesting against.

Do the math. That's a 1:5 ratio, folks. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but, facts are facts. How many bigots do you know would face up to a 1:5 ratio against anti-bigoted folks?

Now, on to our regularly scheduled post.......

Christmas Eve will find me.....

So, I got picked up by my mom's bf at around 6. As we drive home, he gave me the gift card I asked him to get me for my mom (extreme last minute shopping). We came home to find the cornish hens in the oven, the potatos being boiled and the Mexican rice casserole being prep'd.

Dinner was done around 9, and, my brothers soon arrived afterwards. Both of them. To eat.

Shocking.

As usual, the married brother brought gifts for myself and my mom. The unmarried one didn't. My mom received another set of vases that were absolutely gorgeous. For me, a tea light lamp. I love candles, so, it works out. The tea lights are the "Oceans" scent, courtesy of Pier 1 Imports.

We all ate, catching up on each others' lives, my mom sticking to her "when am I going to have grandchildren" routine. All and all, it was good.

When the mooching, unmarried brother finally left after taking 80% of the leftovers, it was already 1am. My mom and I were exhausted, and, quickly cleaned up and went to bed.

On Christmas Day in the morning...

and the rest of the day....

My morning started out with a text message from a co-worker and my mom waking me up at around 10 in the morning. We both showered and dressed, I had breakfast while my mom had coffee (she hardly ever eats then bitches about not losing weight). We headed out to my uncle's place first.

I love my uncle. Dearly and truly I do. I just can't stand the fact that he lives in a home full of chain smokers.

Every time my mom and I walk into that place, we are slammed into a wall of cigarette smoke. Not smoke, stench. More accurate. Our clothes stink for hours afterwards. Still, it was a good visit.

We then hopped in the car and drove up to my mom's bf's place. Left from there to go to a Christmas party that one of his brothers was throwing. Great place, good party, awesome food. I love Puerto Rican food; especially if it's full of flavor and texture, which it is, sometimes. There was Puerto Rican rice, beef, ham, potato salad, cole slaw and for dessert, flan. I had a smidgen of all except the flan; it makes me gag.

As I began to realize I was falling asleep in front of the TV, I grabbed a cup of coffee, then left a few moments later. As I got closer to home, I called Hoyt.

Guess where I was Christmas night? C'mon, guess!

Today......

Guess where I woke up this morning? Guess what we did last night, then again this morning before I left for work?

Okay, I'll stop now.

For those of you that know me well, yeah, I'm just as shocked as you are.

Now this begs the question, am I bi, or, a lesbian dating a guy?

Would I ever give up women?

Hell no.

Would I ever give up men?

In a heartbeat.

I guess that answers the question, doesn't it?

No title, just a message.

I wish all of my readers, Happy Holidays. For those of you that observe Christmas, have a merry one.

Bob's party was a sucess. The food was good and the company was great.

Hoyt was able to come with me to the party (woohoo!) but to do so, he had to cancel coffee with his best friend.

I'm not sure what to think of that, considering his best friend is also a woman. If I ever meet her, I'm sure the jealousy factor will come in hardcore, since they agreed to not take their relationship any further than friendship. Eventually the words "skank" "slut" and "whore" will come to her mind.

Anyways, we both had a good time, and, he fit in very well. As a matter of fact, my friend G referred to him as a "doll". He got hit on hardcore by one of the gays at the party. HARDCORE.

We finally left at around 11, having gotten there at a quarter to 7. He drove me home, and, we ended up making out in front of my place for about half an hour before I forced myself to get back up to my apartment, forced being the operative word.

It was a little weird at first, since I've been doing nothing but kissing women for years. It took just a few moments to get used to, but, overall, it was all good. Seriously.

I have to get going here, since I've got presents to wrap and a kitchen floor to mop before I leave for work, so, everybody have a good holiday! And remember, if worse comes to worse, there's always Chinese take-out, White Castle and the movie theater!

Really quick now....

Hoyt and I talked on the phone for about 30 minutes before my mom came to pick me up for grocery shopping. It was a good conversation. Would have gone on for some time if I didn't have to split.

Bob's Xmas party is tonight, and, as of this writing, I'll be carrying my PS2 over as a DVD player. Hopefully, I'll get a call back saying I won't have to.

I've cleaned up the bathroom for tomorrow. I'm going to finally take a shower and get ready, since the clothes I'll be leaving with will be the clothes that I'll be at the party with. I have to buy my mom a gift certificate, and, several more Cornish hens for tomorrow's dinner.

Fun stuff.

Hoyt and I will be planning a "date" of sorts for sometime next week. Don't be surprised if it's sometime around New Year's. Seriously.

Oh, and, I get to see the pics and hear my speech from the other night at the Save Senn rally. That will be interesting.

I'm sure I'll have more later.

Yeah, lemme get right on that....

The overnight was a sucess, since customers are actually buying shit now, so there's room to put other shit out. I got more done in seven hours of no customers than four people could with customers. Fun stuff.

I finally crawled out of bed around 4 this afternoon. It only seems late, but, I didn't get to sleep until 9 this morning. I've done three loads of laundry, emptied out our fridge, and, just got back from doing Xmas shopping with my mom.

For several years it's been the same thing; I go with my mom and she buys me some clothes (or whatever I may want) for Xmas, she brings them home and wraps them up, and, I feign shock and awe over what I unwrap.

This year, we headed over to Old Navy; I got four tops and a sweater with a zipper in the front. All on sale!

We then went to eat a late dinner, then spent almost an hour trying to find something for my mom's bf in Marshall Fields.

I got a response back from my ex, which was cool. It was short and to the point, which was good. I think I was a bit mushy on my end, so, it was good to see that she kept her head.

No, I have not seen or heard from Hoyt, for those of you who want to know. Somehow I think that I'll be seeing him around. It's a gut feeling.

Oh, and, I'm working on a personal site. I just purchased the domain name today, and, I'll be spending the next several days trying to figure out Yahoo!s Website Builder software. It's not much, but, it'll do until I pay off my Chapter 13. That will be paid off the first paycheck in June. Sweet.

I'm still debating if I should simply purge my blog here and add one to my site, or, archive this and put it as a link. I think I may do the latter, and, maybe even archive my first blog as well. I'll have to see.

Still haven't heard about my potential "promotion". I think our loser PP senior is stuck at this store because of his perpetual head-up-his-ass ness (I can't think of the term right now).

It's late, and, I'm going to bed now. I have to be back at work at 5 am tomorrow. Ick.

The next time I see a corporate fuck.....

So, they came by the store, and, everything looked "great". Whatever the fuck "great" means.

I ended up staying at work until after midnight last night, and, ended up doing nothing but stocking shit my entire shift today. Guess what? I get to go back tonight too. I'm due at midnight until....

I will so have OT this week. There will be no avoiding it. I'm hoping to barter some hours off of my shift on Christmas Eve so that I can get home to start cooking shit early.

And, to wrap things up, Hoyt was at the store today. I let him hug me.

Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

I'm off, folks. I'm sure I'll have something for tomorrow.

It's been a long night, really....

The time stamp on this thing isn't lying; it's 3:30 in the morning. I just got home from work an hour and a half ago. Found out about 2 hours before we closed that some big corporate honchos are supposed to show up at our store tomorrow, "supposed" being the operative word.

So, instead of leaving at midnight, we ended up staying at work til 2am. In about 20 minutes, I'll be able to call up there and speak to someone, since the 4am staff will be arriving. Sick.

I got my books in the mail over the past week. Well, 2 out of 3 anyway; I'm still waiting for the third to arrive.

Haven't heard from Hoyt. I guess that someone at work probably told him about me being a P-L-T-S dyke and all, which probably worked out for the best.

I have to face it; it would have been ugly. What would I have said?

"Yeah so uh, we can fuck and all, but, at the first sight of a potential "Miss Right" you're outta here."

Eh, something tells me that he was looking for more than just a fuck anyway. It wouldn't have been cool if I had gone and gotten "involved" and all, only to break his heart. Or his ego. Whatever the case, it wouldn't have been right.

Hmmm, if he came back around, I wonder if I just might take him up on his "offer".

I need to figure this shit out in my head.

But for now, I have to get some sleep. Tonight will be fun and all, since I have to contend with the noise from the tarp that's on a building a block over. It's a very windy night and it's blowing through four stories of tarp. That's a shitload of noise.

I sent my ex an email the other day, just a "hi, how are you, and yeah, you were right and I was wrong" kind of thing. Haven't heard anything back. I wouldn't be surprised if it got deleted or ended up in her junk mail folder. Eh, c'est la vie.

If those corporate fucks don't show up at work tomorrow..............

I am so fucked, but, then again, I guess that's what I want....maybe.....

His name is Hoyt.

He is about 6'2", and, is a damn good looking guy. He fucking knows it too. Dark blond hair, hazel eyes, slim build.

He is a member of a group of employees that go around from store to store and either "help out" or "fix stuff". There's a reason why those words are in quotes. But, that's for later.

He's been hitting on me for the past several days, and, the past several times he's been at my store. It was weird, too. His eyes lit up like Christmas trees when he first saw me. Then it began.

You ladies know what I'm talking about. The "test".

He makes the first move with a compliment. It's the intro to get to know your name.

Next, the "touch" or "personal space" test. He patted me on my shoulder the second day he was in the store. It's a move that can't be taken offensively, so, it can be brushed off. Or taken to mean that he's interested.

The next thing is what caught my attention. He talked to me. Over and over again. Not annoying, he has a good sense of humor (I'm a sucker for sarcasm and a bit of dry humor). The conversations weren't long, but, just long enough for me to begin to notice.

Then the compliments began. Subtle, but they were there. And dammit, he knows when to lay off, too. The guy's got a good head on his shoulders, and, that's what gets me most of all. A brain that is actually used.

DAMMIT!!!! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!!!

What am I going to do?

I'm attracted to him. But, what does that make me? A lesbian attracted to a man?

What if he asks me out and I say yes to him? What am I then? A lesbian going on a date with a guy?

What if I fuck him? Does that make him a "fuck-buddy", or, does that make me bi?

This is the first time in 12 years that I have ever, ever been concerned about a guy, especially one that I am attracted to.

Shit.

The only thing I wanted to do today was walk up to him and scream "I'm a pussy-licking, tit-sucking dyke!"

But would that have made me more or less of a lesbian?

I'm going to have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Shit.

Yeah...I think Bush's first "challange" should be a third grade spelling test. Dumb Fuck.  

Yet another enemy......

I almost forgot. We encountered the new strategy by the wacko right. Its called Protest Warriors. These people go around and protest protesters. Seriously.

We had to deal with one of these idiots up close and personal. He came up to us and began blaming the U.N. for Sadam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden.

Myself and another guy ended up yelling at him for being so stupid.

Sadam Hussein; remember him from the 80's. Didn't we use him to replace another dictator?

Osama Bin Laden; remember the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan? We trained, fed, clothed and armed him and his tribe to help oust the Soviets.

Oh, but that's the U.N.'s fault.

They arm themselves with dumbasses. But dumbasses are obedient. That's what works.

My weekend....I know, it's a boring title, but, it works.

Saturday.

Work up early to drop my mom off at work. Went to my session with my therapist. Got alot of shit off of my chest. Drove from the office into the city for the International Human Rights Day rally.
That was interesting.

This was GLNs first outing following the nasty falling-out with EMN. It was almost a joke. No, it was a joke. EMN had about five people for the group, we had 10 or more. The rally itself was good; we were kinda disappointed with how many people were there overall. The weather was obviously a huge detrement for many people.

It was good that we were out there, nonetheless. Many people who walked by we shocked and glad to see that the activist front had not gone into retreat. I got to hand out a good amount of flyers to people who were walking by, and, got to talk to many people.

Those of us that did not have to leave ended up going to the Borders across the street for coffee/lunch. I highly recommend their chicken wrap. Fresh ingredients wrapped in a spinach tortilla. Yummy.

It was decided that I would be chosen to speak on behalf of GLN at the Save Senn Coalition rally downtown Tuesday afternoon. B will be out of town with his partner, and, Andy has his trial that day, and, probably won't be able to make it down there until 5 or so. The coalition will have several speakers present, including myself. Once the speakers are done, we will march down to the Board of Ed building, where they will be taking a final vote on whether to allow the naval academy at Senn or not. Visit the site for all of the details.

Saturday night I had to work until 11pm. I was there past that time, and, didn't get home until 11:30. I was up until 4am working on my speech, which is almost finished. I've decided if I can, I will try to get a few moments after the closing speakers to give my input and present a flyer to the crowd. This flyer will contain the info on the bills waiting in Congress that I wrote about after the election. There are actually six different bills, but, several of them have become "joint resolutions".

Sunday.

Finally went to bed around 5am. Woke up around 2, and, cleaned both the kitchen and the bathroom. Put some gas in my mom's car, and, went to work. I tried to get the team out at 11, but, these fucking kids would not move fast enough. It was like they had lead in their ass and their feet. Punks.

Well, I came home and worked on my speech a bit more. And hit the sack way earlier than the previous night.

Today.

This is day one of two days off. I finally got out of bed around 1, and, haven't done much since. Went with my mom to Ulta and Walgreens for some stuff and that's it.
I'm on to make my flyer for tomorrow, and, I'll be done.

In national news, it looks like Kerik has withdrawn from his nomination. Aw, too bad. Funny how the Republicans were willing to overlook such wholesome and honest choices like two extramaritial affairs, $6 million windfall from the sale of stocks from his own company and the employment of a housekeeper whose citizenship was questionable (their own words).

Wow, those Republican values are certainly ones to be envious of, indeed.

Not.

Paging Captain Jackass, Captain Jackass, please come to the front desk.......

So, yeah, we had this guy named Mortimer. Had being the operative word. He got fired and arrested yesterday. He gets a record for the rest of his life.

Here's the deal; we never had a problem with stuff "disappearing" or being "set up" to be stolen. Until this guy got hired.

The first and most dramatic "event" happened about a week after he was hired. Someone discovered over $2,000 in video games stashed away behind some boxes on the sales floor. These were "set up" to be stolen, possibly by an outside party.

After that, we began to discover CDs that were stolen, all found in various areas of our warehouse. On the mornings after this guy worked. Convenient, no?

This kid probably took about two grand worth of shit that we know of.

How did he get caught?

By doing what every other scummy ass, piece of shit thief does.

He got cocky.

Monday night, a cell phone turned up missing. Again, a night that this guy worked.
Sometime over the next several days, this stupid fucktard calls up the cell carrier and has the phone activated. Under his hame.

It gets better.

He then walks into the store for his shift yesterday, with the stolen phone on his hip attached by a clip, which he also stole.

Apparently, all those numbers on the top of the cell phone box, you know, like the carrier I.D. and the serial number of the phone and shit like that didn't mean a thing to this kid.

Stupid, stupid kid.

I hope whoever he was stealing for was worth it.

I knew something was missing.....

Tim made a good point in his last post, which I'll just copy here;

Say........... Did anyone else notice the utter lack of Pearl Harbor commemorations today(12/7)? Weird.

Funny how in the midst of a false war, we forget to honor those who have died in real wars. It is not false in the sense that men and women are dying due to enemy fire, friendly fire, lack of armor and other things such as bad gas and bad equipment.

It is false because of the pretense and the reason. Bush led us into war to destroy an enemy when in fact he only wanted to help his friends.

In doing so, on days such as December 7th, Bush disrespects soldiers of the past, including his own father.

I guess you can tack on one more commandment that Bush has violated:

Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father.

Oh, such a holy man he is.

More on Day One....

Okay, so, I did finally get the FUCKING AC out of the window. Problem is that the place I would normally put it is currently occupied by SHIT.

I also managed to swiffer my room. Lots and lots o'dust, kiddies.

I finally got the air filter for my mom's car. It was easy to put in, and, the old one is nas-tay.

I love Amazon.com. I was able to buy all four of the volumes of the Secret Books of Paradys by Tanith Lee. To boot, I discovered that she is starting a new series of volumes in April of next year.

My little purchase cost exactly $11.63, inlcuding shipping. All books were hardcover, and, none of them cost over 70 cents. I love Amazon.com.

My next purchase will be the Secret Books of Venus. I want to get the Flat Earth series and the Wolf Tower series, but, I haven't read any of them, and, her single books don't grab me the same way her volumes do. I will have to venture into the public library nearby to see if I can get my hands on some of the two series.

I am off to watch the Simpsons and stuff my face some more before I go to bed.

Goodnight kiddies.

Day one of two days off.

I finally crawled out of bed at 2 this afternoon.

Ate a bowl of cereal, made two bags of popcorn and sat down to watch the last 20 odd minutes of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

I like that part, when Qui-Cong, Obi-Wan and Darth Maul fight. There is something very noble and poetic about it. The apprentice kills the master, who is then killed by his apprentice. Kinda like a "comes-back-to-bite-you-in-the-ass" thing.

I need to get going. I still haven't taken a shower, and, I need to finally get the stupid AC out of my window. After I was the few dishes that are there.

Fun stuff.

More later.

Two Things....

Number One:

511 blaze in the heart of the financial district of Chicago. 135 s LaSalle. Blaze went from 5 windows across to 10. Thank God for concrete, but, enough about the fucking debate over sprinklers already. Just because a group of selfish tight-wad crotchety old fucks don't want to spend their precious millions doesn't mean they have the right to endanger lives holding on to their dough.

Number Two:

The Pat Tillman fuck-over. Simply put, the Pentagon lied about his death, covering a royal fuck-up. Friendly fire seems to be a big issue over in Iraq. Tillman was an Army Ranger shot by another grossly inexperienced Ranger. That's it.

In the words of his youngest brother, Rich;

"Pat isn't with God,'' he said. "He's fucking dead. He wasn't religious. So thank you for your thoughts, but he's fucking dead.''

A great human being who strove to understand others, who questioned his college football coach as to whether he would coach gays, who even showed up at the baptism of a good friend dressed in drag because the kid ended up having two godfathers, but no godmother.

"And what NFL player turned Army Ranger wouldn't don drag to make that math work?"*

Only Pat Tillman. And maybe a handful of other human beings, but, sure as hell not our President.

Why is it that good people have to die in something as bad as war, only to have their memory desecrated by political PR?

* Quote taken from SFGate article orginally published here.

Today's number: 12!!!

That's how long I was at work today; 12 long, horrible hours. Why?

My boss couldn't come in because someone tried to bust into his dad's place, and, one part timer showed up late. Ugh.

We have this supplier at work called Handelmann. Handelmann supplies our Latin CD selection.

At my store, we have 8 four foot sections filled with Latin CDs. Folks, simply put, that's alot of fuckin' music.

I walked into work today, and, went back to the warehouse, like I always do, to see what I can put out on the sales floor. I saw 9 Handelmann boxes, which can hold up to 120 CDs each.

Do the math folks. That means that I had anywhere from 900 to 1,100 CDs that needed to go out and fit into 32 feet of selling space. That was already 2/3 full.

Fucking shit.

Having worked for my company for over 10 years, I've developed several "habits" that keep me sane during the holiday season. One such habit is this; during the holidays, when we're already filled to capacity and we keep getting more shit, I like to look at some poor random member of our inventory team when a truck comes in and say "So, this is going up your ass today, right?"

Guess what went up my ass today???

I am so not happy about that right now.

I'm too tired to be pissed. Too tired, too hungry, too mentally exhausted.

I'm done now.

I have a McRib sandwich waiting for me.

And I still have to mentally come up with some wording for a press release. Oh, yeah, I am now part of the Gay Liberation Network. Hence the press release.

I can't wait to see what fun awaits me and the rest of the gang on Saturday, since we all know damn well that EMN is going to be there.

Fun stuff, I say. Fun stuff.

Family Values????

Republican Family Values;

Ken Mehlman, chair designate of the Republican National Committee

A man who won't go on record to admit that he's straight.

Congressman David Drier, Head of the House Rules Committee.

Closeted freak who pushed the Federal Marriage Amendment. In essence, a self loathing gay man.

Dan Gurley, Head of Republican National Committee "field" operations.

A man who had a profile at gay.com (despite the fact that he denied he was gay) that clearly stated that he was in an "open" relationship, and, included a "special request". Turns out that Gurley was (and probably still is) into "barebacking".

For those of you that don't know, barebacking is anal penetration without a condom. Yeah, it's the sure-fire way to get the HIV virus if either the one giving it or the one receiving it is HIV+.

Read about his gay.com profile here.
See his chat room profile here.

I feel so much better knowing that Bush's party is being run by such wholesome, family oriented men. And that wonderful FMA, of course it's being pushed by a man who is secure and comfortable in his own skin.

So, where was this six months ago?

My horoscope, courtesy of Free Will Astrology;

The seeds of some trees are so tightly compacted within their protective cones that only flames can free them and allow them to sprout. The lodgepole pine and jack pine can't reproduce, in other words, without the help of forest fires. I suspect that you will have a resemblance to those fire-dependent, fire-resistant seeds in the coming months, Aries. Your ability to prosper and flourish may require you to spend time in the metaphorical equivalent of a large blaze. Don't worry for your sanity or safety. Just as the seeds in jack pine cones can tolerate temperatures of 1,700 degrees Fahrenheit, you will be very hardy. P.S. Your first trial by fire may begin any minute now.

I'm an Aries. Shocking, I'm sure.

I don't know what triggered my decision to become an activist. I don't know when it happened; it just happened. I don't know why I didn't do it before.

I do know that I do not regret my decision, I only regret how long it took me to make it. I'm not sure if getting involved sooner would have made a difference, but, I know that it makes a difference now. I am one more face in the crowd, one more person speaking out, one more person doing when many others won't or even can't.

It's been a busy week for me. Between recovering from the Thanksgiving Holiday (if you saw the Saturday Sun Times, you would have seen my store on the cover), going over to G's place to make the arm patches for the Dec. 11th action at Water Tower while installing and running spyware on his pc and working, I've been drained. And bitchy. Mostly bitchy.

I plan on enjoying my day off today. I was so lazy, I didn't even go downtown to buy my Chicago Card Plus; I just went ahead and ordered it online instead. It 12:30, and, I'm amazed at how much I've gotten done already. I'm up, dressed, fed and the sink is free of dirty dishes. Normally, I would still be asleep.

I do need to get some stuff done today; I have to buy some stuff at Target, do my laundry and do a little grocery shopping, mostly for myself. My checkbook is balanced, which even shocks the shit out of me, and, I still need to go and drop off an application for part time openings at Starbucks in Evanston. It's not much, but, then again, it is.

However, to do laundry requires me to drag myself outside to get quarters. Ick. I don't want to be dragged out so soon. Ick.

Later.