''.... in a nation of minorities, it is important that you don't cherry pick rights.''

"We were not the first, but I am sure we will not be the last. After us will come many other countries, driven, ladies and gentlemen, by two unstoppable forces: freedom and equality,"

There are times where, as a writer, it is hard for one to admit when someone else has said something better than you possibly ever could. Some make pathetic attempts to regurgitate the words to make them look like their own.

In the past few days, two more countries have passed legislation that secure a basic civil right denied to US citizens today; the civil institution of marriage.

Canada, who some view as the land of pot-smoking yahoos and Spain, a nation where Catholicism is deeply embedded, now guarantee the civil institution of marriage to all, irregardless of gender, race, ethnic background, religion and now, sexual orientation.

So, why not here then?

Take the test, if for nothing else, then just to get one of those cool icons.....

Check it out on the sidebar.

I'm so not cool.

Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Boo, Boo!

Take that BE-YOTCH!

Self-righteous asshole. That's what you get for playing the religious stooge attacking Science.

Punk-ass chump. You barely got a high school diploma and you think you're qualified to be discussing what is wrong with Psychiatry, a proven science.

Sure, Psychiatrists used to use electric shock therapy and sensory deprivation, but, they don't anymore, because they realized it doesn't work.

Responsible psychiatrists, like mine, ask you if you feel you should be on medication before they prescribe it to you. Yes, there are some that are not; those are the dumb fucks who are giving drugs to children simply because their parents don't want to deal with the kids.

Yes, I believe, like you Tom Cruise, that kids have no fucking business consuming any type of drug. The majority of prescriptions go to kids that parents don't want to be bothered with. Dare I say 90%+. But there are children that have genuine chemical imbalances that may not be treatable with immediate therapy; the therapy may take months if not years, and, may not correct the behavior soon enough.

I have a big fucking problem with you, Tom Cruise, when you criticize women for taking anti-depressants to deal with post-partum depression. Have you ever been knocked up, bitch?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Dare I say that the reason why you had to adopt kids is because you shoot blanks, bitch. So, you have no fucking right to criticize any woman that has to deal with a genuine chemical imbalance by consuming chemicals to correct it, for the sake of her sanity and her child(ren) and the ones she loves.

Fuck you and your criticism, Mister High School Education.

Apparently, you don't have a working grasp of your mental inferiority. You have to stick to one soapbox, Mister Stooge-of-Scientology, because you don't know enough to even step on it yet. Unless you plan on getting a Master's of Science in Psychiatry, you need to shut your pie-hole.

But here's the real test; if you're so hell bent on going your "No drugs for kids" campaign, why don't you start by knocking on your neighbor's doors?

No working class family member has the time or money to find a doctor who will dope up their kids; most insurance plans don't cover it unless you pay extra. Who does it? Either those on public aide or people wealthy enough to be your neighbors.

So start knocking, or start shutting up.

Let's see if Mr. Cruise has the courage of his convictions to start locally, shall we?

Or will he be like every other self-righteous rich-bitch, and assume his neighbors do no wrong?

So, these are the people.....


In the pic above (I'm using Blogger's photo tool), you see pretty much all of the people that were under our banner, Queer/Trans Caucus of CAN, Code Pink, Chicago ANSWER, Not In Our Name, and GLN. EMN went off to take a seperate pic.

I'm not in this pic because by this time, I was either changing my shirt or leaving Borders altogether.

I shoould have pics up here sometime between Friday and Saturday. I have plans to go out to the movies with my group Friday night, and, Saturday the ex is supposed to come over with my stuff.

As for L, I have not heard back from her yet. Something that I did not mention is the fact that when I came back from the bathroom at Reza's before we left, she was writing something in a small notebook. If it was either because she had a full week's worth of suitors, or, she just couldn't retain shit, it's not a situation I want to get into either way.

We'll have to see. If she doesn't call back by the end of the week, I won't trouble myself with it anymore. Besides, my overnights begin next week, and, I might be up for a promotion at work; I won't have time for drama.

Wow.

Yesterday, I ran the gauntlet of emotions.

I barely got to the Parade on time because I woke up later than I should have. It didn't help that I didn't get to sleep until 2 am.

I made the mistake of not putting on any sunscreen or sunblock, and, now my face and forearms are burned. I got sick from the heat yesterday and ended up leaving my group once we got to the end of the Parade.

On the way back, I ran into a Borders to change and to vomit. I then loaded up on a bunch of fluid (water specifically), and, was able to keep my dinner plans.

I finally got to Reza's at around 7:30pm. It's a vegetarian/Mediterranean restaurant, and, I loved it from the very first time I ate there.

L and I both ordered chicken with dill rice, just prepared differently. We barely touched our food, we were talking so much. I was amazed at the fact that we instantly connected.

I wanted to be proper, so, I just walked up to her and said hello, then we headed over to eat. I lead and opened the door for her, as well as waiting for her to sit before I did. We weren't able to get patio seats, but, I think we both had a good time nonetheless.

As we left the restaurant, I asked her if she wanted to join me for a coffee at Kopi's, which she said yes to; that is a good sign. We ended up talking for almost an hour more, before we walked to Jewel to get stuff we needed (I needed solution for my contacts, she needed kitty food).

We said our "goodbyes" at her street, and, I went to find my way home.

I finally got home around midnight, and, this included a ride from my mom from the train station. Neither of us were happy, but, the folks at RTA don't know what's going on in their own system. I could have taken the Yellow Line from Howard to the end of the line and gotten home quicker than my mom driving back from the Howard Red Line Stop. Stupid RTA monkeys.

Today I finally crawled out of bed at noon, and, I'm still burned, unfortunately. It's my arms that bother me the most.

Ronald Reagan is NOT the Greatest American. He is a punk-ass-bitch and was nothing more than a tool of the religious right. The Berlin Wall coming down during his administration was coincidence and not of his doing. The ultimate destruction of Communism and the USSR was during Clinton's time, not Reagan's.

I've got rolls of film to get developed; the problem being the boobie shots. I'll have to call around to see who doesn't have a problem with developing pics containing half-naked women on the public way.

You'd be amazed at how hard it is. There's this little thing called "interpretation" by the person developing the film. If they believe it is pornography, they have to report it to state authorities, especially if they feel it's child porn. I am under the impression that all of the womyn from Queer/Trans Caucus of CAN were of age. If they aren't, I could be in a world of hurt.

Anyway, one last thing. I was wearing my buddy Glenn's t-shirt that says "I support Homo Marriage" in the parade yesterday. I had at least five different people take pictures of my chest, since the wording was strategically placed across my boobs. I totally had that planned, but still....

I have laundry to do, emails to write and a shower to take.

Later.

I gots boobie pics.......

At least I think I do.

I shouldn't be like this, after all, the boobies belonged to the Queer Anarchists, who are far more left than I could ever be. Seriously.

But, they are boobies after all.......

I'll see what happens.

More importantly, I'll see if I can find someplace that has the balls to print them, since I have an APS camera.

Anyway.

The number one question that Deb and I get when we're seen together is.....

"Why aren't you guys dating?"

Why would we fuck up a perfectly good relationship with sex? It's just plain stupid.

Turns out that said long-time friends did not make-up after all. One sleeps on the couch while the other sleeps in the bed. And they're both alone.

I would never want to do that. Ever.

I'd rather be truly alone than a fake alone. Understand?

I had an amazing time at the Dyke March today, and, I have lots of pictures. About 30 to be exact.

I had a great time to the party as well. I did get "political", but out of curiosity, not to cause trouble.

After the march, and before the party, one of the women that I gave my number to called back.

I have plans for dinner tomorrow evening, after the Pride Parade.

I have a tan on my arms and legs, and, a burn on my face, which doesn't hurt.

I was 15 minutes late for the march because red line service was stopped from Granville to Addison. They said it was a "power outage". Turns out a guy died on the tracks, I think from falling off the platform and hitting the third rail. When I got back to the station where it happened 4 hours later, they had already laid new balast. I don't think that the people on the platform knew what happened.

Frightening.

I'm just waiting for Deb to call me to let me know she got home okay.

I'll be sleeping in the living room tonight, since it has cooled off dramatically, and, it's the coolest room in the house. It will help with the electric bill.

I have an early and long day tomorrow, folks. I'm sure that I will be typing something here, since I'm off on Monday.

Oh, I don't plan on fooling around with anyone until I go and get tested. I don't think I got anything, but, it's better to be safe than sorry.

To "A"......

If you're still reading my blog, I must say I'm intrigued. I guess that you were reading from work, because my trace only got as far as Boston.
I like your style and perception.

Talk to me..................

latinlez@gmail.com

Oh yeah!

I finally caved in and put my AC in my bedroom window last night. It felt so good to be able to sleep without sweating.

Soon I'll be off to pick up my new glasses and contacts. In this weather, I'm grateful I'm taking Pace instead of CTA. Pace buses are much nicer and the AC more consistent.

It will be about an hour ride/walk to get to the office, but, I don't have a car, so, I'll have to suck it up.

I've had a bunch of emails lately from several online ads I've placed or updated. I've also sent out a bunch as well. It was kinda like the "cast a wide net" thing. I send out 8 or 9 emails, I get four responses back.

Eh, I'll just see what happens.

I'll be a busy bee tomorrow and Sunday.

This part written after 3:30pm

Ooooo, my glasses are weird. They're weird because they are the right prescription, so, I feel like I've lost 4 inches.

Every time I get a new pair of specs, I always feel like I've lost several inches. The good thing is that every time, my new pair are more and more stylish. I'll have to get used to the dark frames. My regular glasses have a very dark purple frame, and, my prescription sunglasses have a very dark brown frame, again that almost look black.

I will be staying in my bedroom until 4:30 or so, then I'll have to contend with thawed beef for burgers, and hopefully, with the sun starting to go down, it will be a little cooler.

I hope.

Oh, Q Network will be broadcasting the Chicago Pride Parade, along with San Fran's, New York City, Atlanta's and Houston's Sunday. If you can get it, cool. I think it's one of those channels you request and pay for separately.

Don't worry boys and girls, I'll be taking pics and putting some here for you all.

Tootles.

Something's Coming......

Hey Now!

I said something, not someone.

It's almost near.........the Dyke March.

Dyke March

Dyke March

Dyke March

Dyke March

Dyke March

Dyke March

I had a very interesting session with my therapist yesterday. Very interesting.

A very stark revelation.

But it's something that I may very well have to keep to myself for the rest of my life.

Oh don't worry, I plan on staying true to my pussy-eating, titty-sucking ways.

Unless another guy comes along whom I decide once again to get involved with. Hopefully one that won't talk a good game and then get cold feet over 5 months.

It's been a creepy feeling that I've had for a while now, and, it mirrors events in my own life. Scary.

Anyway, I will leave you all with........

The Power of Three

3 names I go by:

Isa, Izzy, Isabella (even though it's not the name on my birth certificate)

3 screen-names I've had:

AriesLez, LatinLez, Aries321

3 physical things I like about myself:

The fact I wear a size 10, my toes, my hair

3 physical things I dislike about myself:

My eyes, my thighs, my hair

3 parts of my heritage:

The dominant ones are: Mexican, German, Russian

3 things I am wearing right now:

A "Just Be You" t-shirt, a pair of men's boxers (I didn't give up all of my "manwear") and a pair of light beige Lee Jeans

3 favorite bands / musical artists:

Way too many to name, but, off the top of my head, M.I.A., Dead Can Dance and Babble

3 favorite songs:

This is way too easy. For right now, they are Toni Braxton's "He wasn't man enough for me", Ultra Nate's "Desire" and Lara Fabian's "I will love again", all dance versions of course.

3 things I want in a relationship:

Stability, Security and Honesty

3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to me:

a self confident walk, between a size 8 and 14, and the eyes

3 of my favorite hobbies:

does activism qualify as a hobby? That would pretty much occupy all three

3 things I want to do really badly right now:

Have a cup of coffee at Kopi's with a potential "date", be at the Pride Parade poster-making party right now at Andy's place, pop some popcorn shrimp in the oven to snack on

3 things that scare me:

Ignorance, Intolerance and people who bitch about a problem but never do anything about it

3 of my everyday essentials:

Coke, cereal and my friends

3 careers you have considered or are considering:

Financial Advisor, Actress, Singer

3 places you want to go on vacation:

Visit Ronald Reagan so that I can kick his ass and flip him off for allowing AIDS to perpetuate to the point it has, visit Pope John Paul II and laugh at him because within a few months of declaring war on Gay Marriage Rights, he died, and visit my Oma to let her know that my dad did what he said he would, just not very well. All of these people are dead, so, it might prove difficult.

3 kids' names you like:

April, Dakota, Reagan

3 things you want to do before you die:

See all LGBT folk have full and sustained civil rights, to get married/committed and live long enough to see my grandchildren grow up, George W. Bush tried and found guilty of treason against the US

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy:

I maintain my mom's car for her, I don't like frou-frou stuff and I don't care what my nails look like

3 ways I am stereotypically a chick:

I have enough shoes to give to 20 people and still have several left to wear, I like lipstick, I'm vain about my hair

3 celeb crushes:

Angie Harmon, Mariska Hargitay, Elizabeth Rohm

An offer I've refused....over and over again

I just had to do this. Seriously.

Some people that I have informed about my being dumped have offered consolation...and....free "services".

Here's the tally so far:

5 people have offered to inflict some sort of physical harm.
4 people have offered to do one of the following things to the ex-bf's car: key the paint, smash out the windows, slash the tires or pour sugar in the gas tank.
2 people have offered to track his IP and load up his PC with so much spyware and so many viruses, he'll never be able to get rid of it all.
3 people have offered to track him down, tie his ass up and run him over with the "Big Joe", a type of lift that raises a platform up and down.

Now, I'm definitely not one for violence, but, this shit is hysterical. Seriously.

I feel like I'm in some retail mafia or something.

Hysterical.

Ouch! That hurts.

Spoke to the now ex-bf on the phone last night.

Turns out that he's had several dates, and, we've haven't even been broken up for two weeks.

Ouch.

The more I poke and dig, the more I realize that I meant infinitely less to him than he meant to me.

At this point, I'm just shaking my head wondering why.

The good news is that with each passing call, it hurts less and less. I'm amazed at how quickly I'm getting over him quite honestly. I'm sure it has to do with the distance.

In a couple of weeks, I'll find out. He'll be swinging by my place with my stuff, along with picking up and paying me for some SACDs that I got for him.

In the long run, I just wonder who will have more regret.

Okay, so, here is the photo from WCT for you all.  

Fun stuff

It's 2 am, and, I'm just pounding this out to let you all in on what my weekend has been like so far.

I've been talking to Cindy every day for the past four days. I've only called her once. What does that mean?

Last night, I was at Temps until 3:30am. Shouldn't have been there that long. I ended up leaving with a woman's cell number. It only took me ten minutes to get it. Scary.

After work today, I finally went to my eye doctor and ended up dropping over $300 for two pairs of glasses, several exams and 3 months supply of contacts, all with my new prescription. Both of my eyes have the same prescription. That's fucked up. It's usually my right eye that's worse.

I survived all of today with a nasty hangover and 3 hours of sleep. I ended up coming back home and falling asleep for three hours.

My friend Deb came over and we ended up staying at my place for our night "out". I was and still am too tired to go out.

I have several more loads of laundry to do before I go to work tomorrow. And several phone calls to make. And several emails to send off, and, yada yada yada.

I'm checking my profile at lesbianation and going to bed.

If any of you are curious to know what I look like and you just happen to live in Chicago, pick up a copy of the new Windy City Times, and, turn to page 17. Under the article "GLN Protests Anti-Gays' Fundraiser", you'll see a pic. On the right hand side, second to last person with the ponytail....that's me. My shorts are way too big for me. The shirt I'm wearing is courtesy of my buddy Glenn, the gentleman holding the microphone.

Welcome to the face of bigotry. Nice, smiling, elected bigotry. This is Ronda Storms, a commisioner from Hillsborough County in Florida. This county includes the Tampa Bay Area. The Tampa Bay Area features two very attractive venues, the first being Busch Gardens, and the second being a regional distribution center for Anheiser (sp?) Busch.

The commision decided that all Gay theme events would not be allowed in Hillsborough County. They also agreed to have all Gay themed books pulled from Public Libraries. They have refused to grant benefits to partners of county workers. Anyone distributing Gay material in Hillsborough County will be arrested.

Feel free to email away, and while you're at it, go ahead and spread this to anyone you know that is as pissed off as I am about this. Feel free to contact her at; http://www.hillsboroughcounty.org/bocc/about/contactus.cfm. Tell her as many times as you want.

A Super Hero Weekend ends with.......a hangover?

Saturday night, actually, let's go back to Saturday afternoon.

I was on the bus headed back to my place when I got a call from "ID Withheld".

It's a call from my therapist.

She wanted to know how I was doing since the break-up. I let her know that I was doing as good as I could, given the circumstances. She reassured me that if I needed to talk to her, I could.

I let her go and went on with my day. My shitacular day at work. It was dead. D-E-A-D.

It didn't end soon enough.

Woke up Sunday, did some straightening up around the place and went off to work.

After work, I got to my mom's car, and, called up Deb to see if she wanted to do anything.

We ended up at Temps for the night.

Sunday night is karaoke night (Japanese for "singing off-key intentionally") at the bar. It was dead for the most part, which means the Deb and I have free reign to play whatever games we wanted. Pool, Air Hockey, Darts, more Pool, more Darts, and for me, followed by a little flirting.

Her name is Lisa. I worked my way in by offering to fix the clock on her cell phone. She was very cute; the hair was excessively curly, but, she was still cute. I introduced myself after I gave her her cell back, and, we got to talking, mostly reminiscing about the old days at bars like Paris Dance, The Closet and Shyner's Pub.

We then got to talking about music artists and stuff; it was cool.

She walked back up to the front to request another song to sing to, while Deb and I worked our way back to playing darts. I looked up, and she was gone.

I'm sure I'll be seeing her again.

I finally crawled home around 1:30am, and, got up in enough time to be at work 3 minutes before 7. 7am.

Slow and hung-over. Not a good combination.

Today, I recover.

Seriously.

Tomorrow, I will type more, since I am off Wednesday.

A Super Hero Weekend Continues...

As I told the ex-boyfriend's parents when I dropped off his stuff at their place, I have an action-packed weekend.

Actually, considering it's almost over, I should be saying "I'm having" and not "I have".

Anywho.

Yesterday, it was lunch with my best friend (who, it turns out, was drinking in some piss-poor company, hence the thoughts of suicide), then it was off to see my buddies G and his partner, who I have not seen since forever.

It was good to catch-up with them, starting with the news of my recent dumping. They pretty much had the same thing to say as everybody; it wasn't meant to be.

We all packed into Andy's car, which was already full of shit, and, headed over to the Yacht Club to be if nothing more than a thorn in Peter Labarbigot's side. Since the car has no working horn, I advised all in the car at the time that if they wanted traffic to get moving, they could always just yell "honk" really loud to get attention.

It was hysterical to have 4 gay men yell "HONK!" every time they wanted to traffic to move; even scarier....It worked several times!

Anyway, it was good to get out and chant at some bigots once again. Needless to say, I had some pent-up anger that I needed to let out, and, it was for a great cause.

After our counter-party, we headed over to Navy Pier to snack/dine and drink (some of us anyway) and had a good time overall.

I made plans with a certain friend/fellow activist for today before I started work. I had a reason.

I started today by dropping off the ex's stuff at his parent's place. They were far kinder than they had to be, and I definitely appreciate that. I had to make it clear that the ex did not ask me to drop off his stuff at their place; I did of my own free will, and, I just had to.

The pictures are going next. I plan to use them to light up my grill on Wednesday. I'm serious. There is a small part of me that feels like I wasted $80+ for nothing.

I'm going to stop now.

So, I headed back to my place to keep said plans with f./f.a.

We met up and got a chance to walk around MidSummer Days in Andersonville. There were so many cute dykes there! I was in heaven!

But, I had to gather my courage to do what I had wanted to for almost a year.

See, about a year ago, one of the first people I met from my activist group was a woman named Cindy. Yeah, I've had a "thing" for her since day one.

Personally, I think she's hot.

She was said person that I had made plans with for today.

I told her how I felt, and, that I've had a thing for her for a while now.

She was flattered. She told me that she liked doing things with me and hanging out and stuff; she wanted to see where things would go.

I told her that I understood; I just wanted to get that off my chest, so to speak, and told her that she can do with it what she wanted.

We ended up having appetizers at Reba's (excellent Persian cuisine!) and talking for a bit longer.

Before I knew it, I had to leave to get to work on time.

She walked me up to the north end of the festival, and, gave me a hug before I left.

Now, Cindy's given me hugs before and all, but, this one was different.

She held on a lot longer than "normal". The hug got stronger as it went on.

That's thrown me off a bit. I'm not sure what to make of it.

Anyway, I went off to work and did my thing.

Got out of work tonight, and, now I have tentative plans for tomorrow night with my best friend again.

Action packed, I'm telling you.

Well at least for me.

I've just done something that I have not been able to do in the past 24 hours.

I ate an entire meal.

I've spent the past several hours on the phone catching up with friends, and, it's all made me feel better.

My support system has gotten a little larger since my last post.

It's times like these that rebuild my faith in humanity.

And it's the little things that count during times like these.

Maybe later....

I can't go into details right now: the wound is far too fresh for me to poke at it in an attempt to analyze it.

What I can say is that I showed up to work a half hour late this morning because I couldn't sleep last night. Because this is so new, I only told the people at work who either needed to know or whom I've known for several years.

They all had the same response......

"He's losing a good woman"

My ego wants to agree with them, but, right now, it's my heart that needs tending to.

But even that will have to go on the shelf for now. Just as events in my life have turned for the worse and I need her the most, my best friend has gone suicidal on me.

Losing my boyfriend or my best friend wanting to kill herself....guess which one wins?

Left the ex a message on his phone, though. I need to make sure his parents are at their home so that I can drop off his stuff there.

There's no need for his overnight kit to be here anymore, there's no need for me to have the spare set of keys to his car, and I don't want to see the picture he gave me of himself or anything that reminds me of him right now.

In order for me to be his friend, I have to get over having had him as a boyfriend. In order for me to do that, I have to take him out of my life for a while.

But for now, this means that I'll be gathering all of the photos of him and I taken at Sears and promptly throwing them away, including the one in my wallet. They have no value anymore.

And the cutesy "I miss you" cards I bought will have to wait to be written to someone else.

As of 9:20 this evening, I am single again.

The bf broke up with me. I was not surprised.

What I was surprised about was how my mom reacted to the news. When I told her, she got up off of the sofa she was sitting on, and hugged me.

"He's giving up a good thing."

Her words.

Mommies can still surprise you after all those years.

I'll explain in more detail tomorrow.

God Bless You, Mrs. Robinson

Anne Bancroft died of uterine cancer today.

Most people remember her from the role of Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate".

It was a ballsy role for its time, and, many remember her for it.

Another film, if you haven't seen it already, is "The Miracle Worker", where Bancroft plays Helen Keller's visually impaired teacher. It also stars Patty Duke.

Another film I'd recommend is "Agnes of God".

God Bless, Mrs. Robinson. God Bless.

My planned rant will have to wait until tomorrow.


Serious shit has gone down between the bf and I, but it's nothing we can't work through.

But I'm not telling you what it is. Some shit is too personal to put in cyberspace. Seriously.

Spread it far and wide Folks! If you live in Illinois and believe that all people should be treated equally, feel free to copy and paste this in an email & send it to everyone you know!

TELL THE
ILLINOIS "FAMILY" INSTITUTE

Opposing Equal Rights
is BIGOTRY

The Illinois "Family" Institute (IFI) is about to launch an attempt to write bigotry into the Illinois State Constitution. They are about to begin a campaign for an amendment to ban equal marriage rights for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trans people.

Join the Gay Liberation Network and all those who oppose legislative gay bashing at a demonstration outside the last in a series of IFI fundraising galas around the state. We will meet on Friday, June 10 at 6:00 PM outside the Columbia Yacht Club located at 111 N. Lake Shore Drive. The keynote speaker of their $100-a-plate event is Phil Burress, the architect of Ohio's draconian constitutional amendment banning legal recognition not only of same-sex marriage, but any same-sex relationships. The IFI is announcing their attack on equal rights at this time in an attempt to use the 2006 Illinois gubernatorial election to demonize gay and lesbian people.

Help us to send Phil Burress packing! He can return to Ohio with the message that his Illinois crusade is doomed from the start. Tell the Illinois "Family" Institute that their crusade for hate throughout the state is bigotry.

STOP the drive for an anti-gay constitutional amendment in Illinois.

PROTEST at the COLUMBIA YACHT CLUB
6:00 to 7:15 PM on Friday, June 10. Monroe Harbor -- Randolph St. and Lake Shore Drive

Directions: Go to 111 N. Lake Shore Drive, at the foot of Randolph Street, under Lake Shore Drive. By public transportation, take the Red Line "el" to the "Monroe" stop, and walk east on Monroe Street through Grant Park to Lake Shore Drive. Cross Lake Shore Drive, turn left and walk north on the bicycle path to Randolph Street. By car, park in the Grant Park garage (entrance on Columbus Drive, just north of Monroe).

What the hell is that? In the sky?!

The bf referred to my recent post as "sky-writing".

My response was "Who hired the son-of-a-bitch? I need to kick his ass."

He said that he had hoped that I had not written in my blog before talking to him about what and how I was feeling.

I let him know that my blog is a sounding board for me, a place to vent and clear my head.

I also let him know that I wanted to calm down before I spoke to him, and, sometimes letting off steam in my blog is the way to do it.

He thanked me for cooling off before we sorted out the "problem".

He made a good point in saying that part of the reason why this happened is because there has been a growing tension between the two of us since the actual "date" of me moving in with him has been getting closer and closer.

It's a big change for the both of us. I won't say that this decision carries more weight for him or I, it's just a big choice. Ultimately, we will be moving in together, and that's something that I've been all talk and no action on for several of my previous relationships.

Unless "we" blow up, there's no going back. Neither he nor I can go back on our word; if either of us do, the other will think "something" is going on.

(other part written on 6/06)

The bf is in a bit of a bind. I trust him, which is why I'm helping him. Why is it that my trust isn't consistent in all facets of my life? Or is my fear holding me back?

I've given my word, and, in my heart I believe this will work. In my head, this is a win/win situation or a lose/lose situation. It's a huge risk, but a chance I will take.

But here's something I've realized just a few hours ago. I've never had a relationship last beyond a year and a half, and from what he's told me, neither has he. Is living together for ten months going to be a good enough gauge as to whether we will work or not?

We'll have to see.